Something that really irks me (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

In 1988, in the hallways and stairwells of whatever hotel EveCon 5 was at, someone had some posters that were aimed at FanTek security. Our new policy of making picture badges really made some people angry, and the whole "FanTek cons are run by security Nazis" rumors started. In reality, security was a response to several incidents that happened at EveCon 4 (badge copying being the big one) and other cons where people who weren't even with the convention were creating havoc. Based on a disaster at a Unicon where the hotel cracked down and shut down the convention for good, Bruce decided the best defense was proof of who was with his con, and who wasn't, making revoking the badges more a legal shield and a kind of smoking gun. But a lot of fandom didn't like having picture badges. They viewed it as a privacy threat.

"Who watches the watchmen?" was put up on posters, flyers, and in some cases, directly written on stuff. Maybe it was one guy, maybe it was a whole group of people who did this, I don't know.

That phrase still sticks with me. Having known FanTek security, I would say those fears were silly and unfounded, but... I can understand the paranoia. And now it's outside the conventions and into our daily life.

So, this article has been out for a while, but now it's gained more attention for some reason. It's bad enough that US Customs, The IRS, and TSA are "above the law." But these days they have so many more ways to screw you over. Most people don't care at this moment because I suspect many of them assume their innocence will protect them. Why should you care if you don't engage in criminal activity? You have nothing to hide, right? AC Grayling has a great article showing you why this has a major, major flaw. As civil liberties come under ever greater pressure, it's time we exposed the old lie that says the innocent have nothing to fear.

Most of you will fall asleep after the first paragraph, so I am going to point out the core problem behind thinking, "I have nothing to hide." You are assuming that the people investigating you are good, fair, and honest. They are not always good, fair, and honest. While I'd like to think so, they are as human as you and I are. And the moment we stop checking in on these people or let laws slide in their favor, the less power we will have to stop them later on.

Keep that in mind for a second. Now, think about the kinds of people who get jobs where they can dominate other people (cops, bureaucrats, soldiers, politicians, and so on). If you were the kind of person who wanted to dominate other people, you'd seek a job and lifestyle that allows you to do so. Makes sense, right? Now, maybe you'd want to be a police officer because you want to keep bad guys out of good people's lives. That's awesome. But suppose you are someone who just likes the feeling of crushing helpless people under you because you have some unresolved childhood issues. Suppose you're mentally unstable, and feel the only way to be normal is to FORCE people to respect you and ignore any faults you have. What's to stop you from being a cop? Well, you'd hope there are psychological tests, good cops reviewing other cops' behaviors, and the citizens reporting a bad cop. But the sheer size of such an organization means a few bad apples slip through the radar. Maybe some cops start out good, but after a few years on the force, stress breaks them down. There are lots of things that can make a protector of the citizens just go bad.

So let's take this recent issue, where US Customs can seize your laptop, PDA, cell phone, camera, or MP3 player with no course of compensation, they don't have to state a reason, and they can copy all the contents and do whatever with them. I really don't think there's that much difference between their actions and theft. And you have to know 99.99% of what their seize doesn't have anything to do with national security or anything that would amount to anyone getting hurt. But, see, that's the problem. Not just for you, who has lost your brand new laptop to the legal equivalent of a mafia protection racket, but to those who want money so their can keep their jobs and contracts with US Customs. In effect... there's a pressure to produce results. So much so, that if a bunch of "false positives" showed up, and the person couldn't defend themselves... who's going to stop them? After a while, those that "produce results" get favored over those goody-two-shoes who don't. This means that those who have ethics and morals will most likely quit in disgust. Leaving a vacancy for those who have no such qualms. And if you're a dick who likes abusing authority... there are always job openings in such an environment.

So now, even if you have "nothing to hide," they will try and make you feel like you do to "cooperate." This breeds fear and submission. And the process reinforces itself. Over time, you have an agency rampant with corruption, doing what they want, and keeping decent self-checking off the books.

I used to work with a guy who was the "store auditor" at a company we worked at. He was "only" a manager of a large store in the chain, but had been with the company so long, and been in almost every department, he knew pretty much everything about the company. And so when a district manager wanted to get rid of someone, they'd call on him. He had a chilling phrase, "I can go into any store, and within a matter of minutes, find a legal justification for firing, and perhaps arresting a store manager." Usually, he was employed to be a "secret shopper," but in a few cases, he was used to solve difficult managers who had everything legal by the books, but a DM knew he was a bad apple. But you can't fire a guy for a hunch.

He was a decent guy, really, but he described how he could take even the most clean-cut, by-the-books manager in the chain, and break him down. "Nobody is 100% legal," he said. "Often, these are the easiest marks because they are so paranoid about their perfection, that they collapse easily when pressured." Tactics he used were often time sheets, where we didn't actually have a time clock, we just wrote in our hours. "If I were to tell you I sat on a bench outside your store for the last two weeks," he could say, "and marked which employee came in and out and when, including lunch breaks, would you swear in a court of law, that these times are accurate within the minute?" Of course, that would be ludicrous. But a perfectionist would sweat. "If I were to tell you that in just one week, one of your employees has worked almost TWO hours less than we paid him for, including opening the store late, closing early on so call 'slow days,' longer lunch breaks, chatting on the phone with someone who was not a customer according to phone logs... which employee do you think I am going to name?"

See how those questions work? They didn't actually accuse the manager of anything. They just try and break down his confidence and his fear of imperfection.

"If I were to tell you that we discovered no less than 50 illegal pornographic images in your web cache, despite your attempts to shred them, plus proof of illegal song downloading and watching a Youtube video of a football game you had no permission to rebroadcast, how do you respond?"

And planting evidence? Easy as pie. Who's going to stop them? "Oh, look, here's some naked underaged boys and girls from Thailand in your iPhone. Oh, no, you can't be allowed to see them, we have shipped this to our offices for your prosecution... Go ahead, pervert. Prove us wrong... prove they are not yours. No, you don't get a lawyer, but that proves your guilt right there: why would you need a lawyer when you are innocent?"

This, my friends, is a problem. And since 9/11, these people have been given more and more powers under the cloak of "national security." Yes, flying planes into towers and killing thousands was scary and just downright horrible. But you know what? None of these terrorists had laptops to seize, they got in the country 100% legally, were actually reported on numerous times and ignored, we had photo evidence of them at all stages, we supplied their people with weapons and military training, tought them how to fly planes on our dime, and had at least three successful bombing to date before that. And yet, they got through. They had more warning flags than anybody, really. So adding all this invasion of privacy crap is pointless and unconstitutional.

This "security theater" WILL let the terrorist win in the end. It will destroy America.

Last note: here's the Fourth Amendment to the US Constitution:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

You know why that's there? Directly experience of the American colonials, embodying as it did the protection against the utilization of the ''writs of assistance.'' These writs were permanent and even transferable, so a writ holder could even assign them to someone else. Any place could be searched at the whim of the writ holder, and searchers were not responsible for any damage or loss of property they caused. This put anyone who had such a writ pretty much above the law.

So in response to these unpopular writs, several of the colonies included a particular requirement for search warrants in their constitutions when they declared independence in 1776. Several years later, the Fourth Amendment also contained a particularity requirement that outlawed the use of writs of assistance (and all general search warrants) by the federal government.

This is so important, because without it, people could raid your stuff with no legal recourse for their actions. Oh, wait, that's what they are doing.

This sucks. Posted in: computers , customs , security , tsa

Live from Hot-Lanta! (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Not really. By the time you read this, T-Moble's crappy antenna will have gone out like a dozen times. Atlanta Airport is a lot nicer this time around than last time, which would have been the late 1990s, I think, when I was last here.

You know how I hate TSA. I hate the inconvenience, the intrusion, the Dollar-store employees with far too much power than sense. I have blogged about it before, and even sold a screenplay about it. That being said, the TSA at BWI seemed to be staffed with fairly friendly people. Any angst-filled tail of woe where I have to take of my shirt while a woman with rubber gloves looked under my man boobs in front of everyone (true story, happened a few years ago at Dulles) will not be mine this trip, and I hope it's the same the trip back. I didn't even have to go through it again in Atlanta, my terminal E didn't require me going through terminal B's TSA. Victory is mine! I have fluids and I am not scared to drink them!

I am at Gate B24, waiting for my connecting flight to New Orleans. My wireless balloon keeps alerting me there is a problem with my wireless connection, then is acquiring the IP address, then flashes to let me know I have "low" signal strength. Over and over. Makes me wish I brought my new USB antenna I got. I will blog you to death to keep me occupied while takayla applies her makeup or reads her book.

Right now, it's very overcast with light rain in Atlanta. Our flight was delayed, but we had such a long layover, it didn't affect us much. We got seats with a middle seat in between us, but some stodgy old man sat there and looked very annoyed at our fatness, although he said nothing. Just texted on his Blackberry, despite the airplane telling him not to via various announcements. Then he made a phone call WHILE we were landing. That's right. He's a rebel. Fifty nine years old and no one tells HIM what to do...

Our plane was supposed to go on to San Diego, but after we pulled up to the gate, they abruptly changed their mind, and a lot of angry people had to get off. The plane. [you're sick...] Posted in: airplane , atlanta , new orleans , tsa

My dystopian fear of flying (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I hate the TSA. I don't want to be blown up on a plane, but the security theater is just ridiculous. In my head, I sometimes play a small 16mm film where a pure white background, similar to THX-1138, is presented.

In the future..


[calming flute music plays]


United States Department of Edutainment presents:
JILL RIDES AN AIRPLANE!
FASCO Films Department: (c) 2015


Jill is 23. She is going to fly from Newark, New Jersey to Los Angeles to see her grandmother, whom she hasn't seen since she was 11.

A few months ago, Jill had to go to her state-approved physician to apply for a Right to Fly exam (a FASCO class C exam). She had to submit blood tests and take a basic psychological profile exam (30 minutes of 500 questions). Her doctor passed her, and she was able to apply to the Federal Air Safety Control Office for a FASCO 101 compliance. In her paperwork, she had to detail her arrival and departure time, purpose of visit, a list of people she would see on her visit, a list of her last 4 previous addresses, and a list of all places she has visited for more than 1 hour 20 miles or more away from home. In addition, she has to provide the names and contact information of two witnesses who can vouch for her status as a citizen where one of them has to already have FASCO clearance within the last 5 years. The entire form has to then be notarized, submitted with some DNA samples, a fingerprint, and a current photo. Upon completion, Jill submits the entire set of forms, and waits 4-6 weeks.

Jill's boss, Mr. Sterner, flys frequently. He only has to submit a FASCO 201 when he wants to fly. He has to reapply for his FASCO 201 status every five years, but it only takes 2 weeks to get his 201 authorization back. After all, Mr. Sterner is a very important man!

Six weeks later, Jill gets her authorization which is good only for the flight she applied for. Should the flight plans change, she will have to reapply, but only use a FASCO 103 to reassign her destination time and dates, and that process takes only 1-2 weeks, or just a few hours if she drops by a FASCO office in person. Her authorization packet contains a copy of her submitted paperwork and her authorization, printed in a small booklet with color shifting ink and holograms to prevent forgeries.

Just before she left, Jill put her travel needs into a box and had it shipped to her destination using her favorite commercial carrier. She went to the airport wearing only comfortable casual clothes, her identification, and a small bag with some books to read, and a disposable one-day use cash card with a balance of all the money she should need for the day. Jill has read her homework, and is prepared to fly into safety!

She takes a cab to the airport arrival station. It's a large building in front of a securely guarded airport. As she passes by the throngs of people saying goodbye to loved ones, she makes sure she has her papers and smiles in anticipation of her safe and comfortable flight.

The airplane departure area is far away from the actual airport. Jill can hear the planes, but not see them yet. Be patient, Jill, we wouldn't want to spoil the surprise! She steps up to the line to her ticket booth. Gone are the lines to various carriers, they already know you're coming! She merely separates into lines for those who had FASCO Class 1, like herself, as well as Class 2, for people like her boss, and Class 3 for government or emergency workers.

When she gets to the counter, a uniformed woman takes her booklet, and compares it to her ID. She asks for a fingerprint scan. Uh oh! There's a problem. Jill can't remember what finger she used! But the lady helps her out, and within minutes, she's approved to go into the disrobing chamber. The lady gives her a neck tag, stamps Jill's forehead, and sends her on her way past the many guards down a hallway.

Jill knows what to expect. Helpful pictograph signs show her what she will be doing when she gets to the disrobing room. At the end of the hallway, she steps into a free closet, and strips down naked. Don't forget those earrings and hair bands, Jill! Jill remembered that the safety of her personal belongings could never be guaranteed, so she came wearing nothing she couldn't afford to lose. She puts her belongings in a plastic bag, and seals it nice and tight. She sees herself in the mirror. Oh my, Jill. We have been gaining a little weight, haven't we? Better lay off those desserts at the buffet when you're in Los Angeles, Jill!

Then she puts her tag around her neck, and inspects the red stamp on her forehead. It identifies that she's been passed by Desk 34 in Newark. The New Jersey seal of safety approval shines like a beacon of safety, letting Jill relax and know she's in capable hands. It helps in a crowd of people to identify she's authorized to be a passenger. It does not rub off until she will later wipe it off with a mild alcoholic solution. But for now, it is a reassuring red mark that she has safe and will be taken care of.

She takes the sticker off her sealed bag, and puts it in the designated area in her booklet. This will assure her that she can be identified with her belongings upon her arrival. Looking in the shelf, she grabs an "airplane gown," a form-fitting elastic jumpsuit similar to the snuggly pajamas she wore as a little girl. As the soft microfiber adheres to her skin, she admires her figure with small pale FASCO logos on them. She then grabs a set of disposable airline slippers and puts them on.

Now she's ready to fly!

[swell of orchestra music]

Taking her bag, she submits it to a guard near a line of people, waiting to go onto the security conveyor system. Like the sidewalks of tomorrow, they roll passengers past a series of safety rays, which scan for bomb and drug residue, as well as X-ray for any unauthorized implants of concealed cargo someone might carry. Good thing you didn't eat this morning, because they could tell you what's making you a little pudgy, Jill!

At the end of the line, you are told to go through one of several gates by a random number assigned to your ID tag. Randomly, you might be selected for extra deep scanning. Jill has not been selected, and from the sounds of the young well-developed teen ahead of her who was, it doesn't sound pleasant! Don't worry, Jill. That young girl is very safe thanks to a series of trained men who will keep her private and snug behind sealed doors. The deep scanning is to make sure that nobody is an enemy agent in league with a bad FASCO employee. While no enemy FASCO agent has ever been reported, it's thanks in part to random deep scanning and time-trusted series of rapid questions. After a few minutes with those boys, that girl would tell them anything they need to know! Including her boyfriend's secret nickname! And thanks to overhead safety laws used by US Customs, nobody can use the US Constitution against the rest of America. So don't worry, Jill. That girl is as safe as you are!

Once sorted and scanned, Jill is put on a bus, which will take her to the actual airport. Jill is excited, because she will get to be on a real airplane! While she has trouble containing her glee, Jill remembers that no talking is allowed on the bus with other passengers. After all, that driver has to concentrate on the road with almost no windows on the bus!

Once a tangled mess of confused people, airports are now modern areas of traffic efficiency! As the bus unloads its stream of warm and clean passengers, Jill is only minutes away from her airplane gate! In the olden days, this would take hours, and she would be led astray with the confusion of hallways, excess traffic, and merchants pestering here. But now as she follows the crowds to their scanning points, uniformed guards will scan her tags, and helpfully tell her where to go.

A turn to the left [beep]
A turn to the right [beep]
Down that hall [beep]
And then...

[music swells]

The airplane!

[chorus of angels]

Jill sits in the waiting area. The pilots and mechanics want to make sure that the airplane is juuust right for Jill's visit to her grandmother. Hours seem like minutes until she is escorted down a long hallway to the airplane itself.

Soothing music plays as Jill is seated. Everything has been taken care of for her. And while the seats seem awfully small, it won't matter once they get to flying. Jill is so excited, she hopes she can stay awake for the takeoff!

The plane is quickly filled and humming with the anticipation of a good flight. The captain states the flight information and remind people to lie back and relax as he rolls the airplane down the runway and the armed attendants put on their masks. Jill does not even hear the gentle hiss of the gas as it fills the cabin with its flowery smell. Just think Jill, the plane needs perfume just like you do! She knows that she's not going to have a reaction to the sleep gas because she had an exam from her physician! As she drifts to sleep, she gets the sensation of flying with a small smile on her lips...

... and landing! Jill awakens slowly. To Jill, only minutes have passed, but her muscles are stiff. Weather complication during a layover added an hour or two to their arrival time, but their tags have already been updated for them due to the modern computer system that keeps track of all its little passengers. The attendants give Jill some bottled water with a mild stimulant to help wear off the effects of the sleep gas. They are just like mom, always making her sleepyheads are awake!

When they get to the gate, Jill is filed off the plane and scanned. Her legs are stiff and sore, but quickly flow with new blood as she awaits her turn to be sorted and moved to a bus that will take her to the airport arrival station in Los Angeles. Her heart skips a beat when she sees the older airport towers of the retired LAX Museum of Flight. She can't believe she's really here!

Jill stands patiently in line, awaiting her clothing. It seems to take forever! They match her booklet and tag, find her sealed bag, and send her to a disrobing room to change into her normal clothing. She keeps the disposable slippers as a souvenir of her grand journey.

Is that Grandma outside, behind the two fences and barbed wire? It might just be...

[grand music plays and Jill and grandma hug one another]

Grandma! Oh, how she's missed her little girl! And that long nap has made Jill look refreshed and radiant! The stamp on her forehead glistens in the California sun as they go to Grandmas house and talk about Jill's exciting day...

On an airplane!

[music swells, credits play] Posted in: airplane , airports , future , tsa