Oh no. Land of the Lost: The Movie (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Fans of the kitschy adventure series Land of the Lost will remember these villainous lizard creatures with the single horn and giant eyes. The latest evolution of the species is preparing to menace Will Ferrell in a big-screen remake.

The Land of the Lost film is now shooting on multiple sound stages at Universal Studios, and the Sleestak surface in a temple where Ferrell's character and his two companions (comedian Danny McBride, Pushing Daisies' Anna Friel) are hoping a giant crystal will return them to their own dimension.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2008-04-28-land-of-the-lost_N.htm Posted in: camp , cheesy , land of the lost , movie

HAH! So true... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

From "Rob Banzai" on Ars Technica reguarding "Cloverfield":

No one really likes blowing up L.A. because we have fewer landmarks. After you take out the Hollywood sign and Capitol Records you're pretty much done. "OMG HE'S GOING TO STEP ON THE BEVERLY CENTER!" just doesn't build much anxiety.

Plus the buildings are so short you'd see Godzilla coming from a looooong way away.

The big fella would probably get frustrated from having to stomp on three story buildings instead of rows of towering skyscrapers filled with hipsters.

Posted in: cloverfield , monster movie , movie , quote

The Hitman - One letter off how I felt about this movie (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Dear God.

First, I was misled about this film. Armed with the trailers I had seen, the awesomeness of a live-action film was smeared with Hollywood promise. I didn't care about plot. I didn't care if the acting was bad.

I should have cared.

The first warning was the small script, "Adapted from the video game," in the opening credits. What? I was told it was from a graphic novel! I am not a video game officiando, but my son said the same thing as I read it. "Oh, this isn't good..."

What we then watched came from the same Czeck filmmakers who probably worked on the great "made for TV" epics that the Sci Fi Channel is famous for (I am looking at you, "Mansquito" and "Sasquatch Mountain"). If it wasn't the hackneyed duologue and plot twists, it was abrupt endings that went nowhere like it was edited by someone in a hurry who had not actually SEEN the film, but heard about the video game from G4's "X-play."

About 10% action, much of it implausible or confusing. Not much of it made you go, "Daaaaag!" It was very ho-hum, and then you had to wait for it between lines and lines and lines of terrible drama. Delivered by people who had wandering accents that sounded more South African than British.

I have seen Jackie Chan flicks with better actors. I have seen better writing done by those who wrote dialog for those Playstation "Spyro" games. The video game feel hung around like a ghost; at one point I wanted to "Hit (A) to continue conversation." They had more stereotypes than a Circuit City Clearance sale.

The only good points were some skinny Russian suicide chick's bewbs (but who had ass acne!), a slightly cool fight scene in an underground train station, and the peals of laughter by my son and I sharing a bonding moment over the same thought process over and over.

"They named a Nigerian police inspector 'Jenkins'??"

The Russian police captain who looked so much like Sergeant Schultz, I kept hearing him go, "I know NOTHEENG!" in my head.

I mean, holy shit... this film was so bad, I am sure it's a cover-up for some former Eastern block country smuggling art out of the country (kudos for those who get that reference). They actually typed out the names of the places, and then added unnecessary countries after them:

[typing] I.S.T.A.N.B.U.L. [pause] T.U.R.K.E.Y. "No shit, I thought they had mosques in Istanbul, Florida." London... England? Not the famous Big Ben and Parliament house in London... Florida? (although that joke died when they typed out "St. Petersburg")

One out of 5 stars. D-. It would be zero and an F, but the Russian punk chick was cute enough to make it easier on the eyes. Barely. Posted in: hitman , movie , review , video game

Viral Marketing... okay, I'm buying (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

My general determination of whether I pay like $10 to see something on the big screen as opposed to just waiting for it to come out on DVD goes a little like this:

1. Is it a movie I want to watch?
I mean, I don't like horror or gore, not into gay pr0n, and a majority of action movies are pretty generic and dull. Not a fan of goofball comedies that use stereotypes, either. This step is pretty "duh," though I list it because it cuts out at least 90% of the movies out there.

2. Does it have huge special effects or is it a musical?
Some stuff gets lost off the big screen. The example I always give is "Jurassic Park." When I saw it in the theaters, it blew me away. "ZOMG!! DINNOSARS R TEH AWESOMES!!1!!" When I saw it on TV? "Man... this is a little cheesy." But even special effects couldn't save "Waterworld," and barely saved the first two Star Wars prequels. "Moulin Rouge" was incredible on both screens, but it's nice to be surrounded by 5.1 Dolby with a score like that. That's why I went to see the musical version of "Hairspray" when it came out.

3. Is it a movie I have been looking forward to?
This is for when I can't wait for it come out on DVD because I must know how it ends! Usually serials I have been following like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

4. If I am with a group, and we're going out anyway, is it a movie I can tolerate?
Boy, I have been in this position more than I care to admit, although not much in the last ten years. The worst was when I was outvoted 3 to 1 to see "Speed," a movie which I hated so much, I can't stand Sandra Bullock to this day. That's two hours of my life I'll never get back. I've had exams go better than that film. That was the only film I ever saw where I must have looked at my watch more than once every 5 minutes. Well that and Goldblum's version of "The Fly," which was just gross; I almost walked out on that film when he started pulling off his own fingernails. Blecch.

All that being said, do a search for movies and "01-18-08." Or just see the obscure and tantalizing trailer. This is an untitled J.J. Abrams ("Lost" co-creator) project aka Cloverfield, 01-18-08, or simply "The Parasite Movie." Nobody knows much about it. The teaser I lnked to was shown before the Transformers movie, and everyone is talking about it.

Viral marketing is kind of clever, because it uses the concept that gossip spreads quicker though lack of details and yet gives out vague hints. The trailer looks pretty awesome as far as special effects go. Posted in: monster , movie , trailer

SKATER DATER (1965 Skateboard movie) (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I recall this film being shown to me in elementary school in the 1970s. Right down to the Dolores Umbridge type woman who scattered pebbles to trip them up.

Man, skating barefoot does look like a better idea. Until you hit the pavement, I guess. Heh. Posted in: childhood , movie , school , sk8ter , skater

Vendettas, screenplays and 1984 (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

You know, I'd swear I'd written about V for Vendetta before. I bought and devoured the comic book a few months ago. I loved it, though I have to admit that it wasn't the easiest read ever. I saw very strong ties with 1984, likening the storyline to what could've happened to Brittain if folks like Winston had stood up for themselves.

Last Friday we bought a few more DVDs and I finally picked up V for Vendetta as well. It's been a long time in coming, with my brother nagging me about it :D

Before I comment on anything related to the screenplay, let me say that it was a stroke of genius casting to get John Hurt to play the role of Adam Sutler. John Hurt of course played Winston in the movie rendition of 1984, giving a striking portrayal of one of Oceania's oppressed citizens. Imagine my surprise to see one of Big Brother's oppressed assuming the character of his own Big Brother! In a further stroke of irony, that cannot have been anything but intended, both Winston's and Adam's final, climactic scenes share many similarities. I'd almost expected Adam to cry out: Do it to her! Do it to Julia! Don't do it to me!.

Which actually refreshes my mind some more! Was it in 1984 that there was a first mention of that final inch that they will never be able to take? Or was it in V and am I imagining things?

Now... The screenplay adaption of V contained many dissimilarities when compared to the comic book. Many of these changes were functional and an almost entirely new story was forged. I enjoyed this new story quite a lot and think that the author(s) did a great job. The only thing that vexes me is the humanization of the character V towards the end. V was always intended to be the personification of an idea. Breaking that down, if only a little, to fit in the oh-so-required love scene detracts from the original story.

All in all, V for Vendetta is a great book and was made into a great movie! It gives one food for thought, as do other, similar books. Knowing that stories like these can still be written and heard gives one a little hope for humanity. Knowing that there are still people out there, smart enough to be critical of their government and to propagate said ideas.

Then again, it may all be a ruse by them to lull us into a false sense of security, or of empowerment. ;)

Posted in: 1984 , comic book , movie , screenplay , v for vendetta

01-18-08: What the F?! (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

I have absolutely no fscking clue what's going on here, but Boy! if this trailer doesn't get me interested?!

01-18-08 trailer

Some horror, science fiction, monster flick? I don't know, but I know I want to see it already! Shame that it's not about Gojira or something like that... The guy directing the flick (J.J. Abrams) was also responsible for Lost, so it's bound to have at least some mind fscks. Wikipedia has already gathered some info.

Thanks to Daring Fireball for the heads-up.



Posted in: 01-18-08 , cloverfield , movie , omg , weird

What the bleep do we know? (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

Long ago my best friend Menno suggested that I watch a movie called What the bleep do we know?! (official website). He did so, knowing that I enjoy scientific and spiritual discussions. Today we happened to stumble upon the DVD, so I finally had my evening of pseudo-science.

I say "pseudo-science" because a lot of the facts portrayed in the movie seem dodgy at best and nonsensical at their worst. A number of their specialists come off as incredibly pretentious (although others are totally cool). Two parts of the movie are stretched beyond interest: the horrible comedy, CGI part with the singing and dancing peptides and the last twenty minutes where they try to reach some point of conclusion.

The thing that irks me the most about this flick that all of the presented information is just one big jumble of things. Everything is remotely connected, but by getting so many different subject into one story it's become a mess. There is no clear message in the end.

Unfortunately I cannot share Menno's enthusiasm about the whole movie, although I will concede that I agree with at least some of the topics discussed. As a matter of fact, most of those points were already on list of beliefs even before I saw the movie.

* We are all connected and thus part of a greater whole, as we ourselves are also built up from many smaller facets.
* There is a world of possibilities, with reality being created at every step and decision.
* Emotions and thoughts can directly affect the body.

I also found the explanation of how the brain stores and associates information to be very informative. The same goes for the part about peptides and receptors and such. I've no doubt that this part of the movie wasn't far from the truth.

Let me end this mini-review-rant with a quote from IMDB forum member Kegbot1, which I can only agree with.
But what many are missing is what makes this film revolutionary -- that filmmakers were able to present these concepts in the medium of film in a way that was at least entertaining and most, thought provoking.
...
That this film was even made at all is a mini-miracle, especially in our current intellectual and cultural climate.

Posted in: movie , pseudo-science , review , what the #$*! do we know!? , what the bleep do we know

Magnonlia (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

Menno, I don't know why it took me so long to go and watch this movie (seeing as how you gave it to Marli for her birthday almost a year ago), but I did tonight.

Wow...

That is all.



Posted in: magnolia , movie , wow