Long letter to a closed mind (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I have had quite a few letters in my mailbox about this, so I thought I would share. It also explains the "left wing" post earlier.

So, on my *former* alumni list (the moderator closed it in disgust last night), there was this girl named Terri. I want to stereotype her, but that's mean. So I will instead tell you I am not sure how someone educated by our secular school system ended up as the kind of girl who not only touts a chosen religion, but works in a church, and feels the need to post a lot of powder keg material about God, abortions, and voting for McCain. These are all good topics, but not the kind liked on an alumni board. Perhaps if she was alone in this, it would have been fine, but there were a few people who supported her, and these people were also rather rude. Their debate tactics pretty much centered around the fact that they were right, and if you didn't agree with them, they made some personal remarks that were pretty inflammatory and didn't so much support their beliefs as just mock you and attach you to labels.

My biggest issue with Terri is she never relented for long. She'd be quiet for a while, and then post some link, often under the guise of some other generalized purpose. Two that spring to mind is she posted a link to "a summer blockbuster trailer" which was some Christian film about a fireman who can't keep his marriage in order, so he turns to God, and everything is aaallllll better. It starts off like "Backdraft," and then suddenly he's standing in front of a glowing cross, offering subservience to invisible voices. Another time, she posted a link about "this current economic crisis" and it was a link, with a tracking seed URL, posted by the American Family Association. The AFA is a notorious Christian, anti-non-Christian group who has ... well, Wikipedia explains it best.

One of the things that always amazes me is people like this often speak of some group's "agenda." Like how homosexuals have some organized plan to... I don't know... be homosexuals. But if anyone is sneaky and underhanded, it's the "Religious Right," which use generic terms, like, "American Family Association," to really mean "Christ is Lord and anyone who doesn't believe that hates families." I don't know any Jewish foundation like that. Usually they have the name "Judism" in them, or they are in Hebrew. That Fireman film ("Fireproof," if you want to look it up) link is more of an example of sneaking religion in. If it was, "God and the Fireman," that would be more honest. if the site had in some text, "Fireman finds God, solves problems," or a picture of a cross... no. You find out halfway through the trailer, you have been had. I am sure if I had posted a link like:

Hey guys, Grig here. Look, I know that things are chaotic in the world now, but here's a trailer that explains why people are still fighting with one another. Check out the facts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDIG-C7pnmc

Peace be with you.

... I would have made some people uncomfortable. And not because of Keanu Reeves and his stilted acting! (I actually like this film a LOT, despite that). But even my link pretty much tells you when you load it in Youtube that it's probably going to be about Buddhism... all over the page. Maybe if I snuck it in another page. See, now THAT would be an agenda!

Because I felt that pointing out another religion would possibly make others mad, I felt maybe I could show her how she was affecting others with a post about spiders.

Terri, I know you mean well. I know you are proud of your religion and your views, and that's cool. We're Americans. Maybe you don't understand why this is impolite. Let me explain something from another point of view.


I like spiders. They are cool, eat bugs, spin webs, and there are many different kinds. Like all of God's creatures, spiders play their part in nature.

Sadly, some people do not like spiders. They find them freaky, hairy, and frightening. If I were to take a spider and put in on some people on this list, they would probably scream, run around, and yell at me never to do such a thing. I could explain until I was blue in the face the benefit of spiders and their role in nature, and some people would call them bugs and say they should all be stomped on. I would say that they were wrong, and how could they hate such a cool animal? Someone might tell stories about how they were scared by spiders as a kid, or some story about the black widow, or the brown recluse spider, and how they can kill people with their poison. "Not all spiders are like that," I may say. And they will not care because just the SIGHT of s huge hairy spider might make them VERY unhappy, poisonous or not.

Someone might eventually post, "Grig, this is a reunion list for McLean High School, please stop talking about spiders. There are spider lists for that."

Now, imagine if I continued to send posts about spider with pictures, movies about spiders, or spiders around the world. Maybe I find roundabout ways to "educate people about spiders," by pointing to movies that suddenly had spiders in them, even in unpredictable and unnecessary plot vehicles. "Jane was a lonely girl, until she found that studying spiders got her to meet a boyfriend who was into Spiderman... spiders are a cure for lonely people!"

People would think I was a little nuts. They'd be right, too.

Even worse, it may make people uncomfortable, especially because of their past with spiders. The some people might tell those people to stop being pussies, "it's just a spider." Then people would yell at those people for calling others pussies. And so on. People eventually leave the list because they cant stand the fights between the spider lovers and the spider haters and the people who tell each side to shut up.

And there I was, still posting links about spiders, either obvious to the fights I caused, thinking everyone was uneducated about spiders and it was my job to educate them because spiders are cool, right? "Ya'll liked Charlotte's Web, don't tell me you didn't...!" or "Spiders are fried and eaten in the Congo, are you saying you want people in the Congo to starve?"

I would be a complete jerk. Whether I meant well or not was not the point, it was the fact I didn't respect the wishes of others, and felt the need to post my spider views in a list specifically NOT spider-related, and kept trying to sneak in spider topics even though I had been told this was inappropriate.

This is the direction you are going. You post consistently ultra-Christian, right-wing, and political powder kegs in a list not geared for this kind of debate. We all come from different religious and political backgrounds. Please respect this and keep the topics related to McLean High School and the memories thereof.

It probably surprises no one that this didn't work. In fact, it generated responses like these:

I like what you are posting Teri!!!!!!! KEEP IT COMING!!!!! Whenever i see a Spider i just step on it!! Spiders suck! Typical Left wing analogy....You should hook up with Keith Olbermann... ..and make a career out of bashing the right wing.....

Note, I never mentioned bashing the right wing at all. I simply said this wasn't the place for this kind of debate. The web is FULL of places for this kind of debate. But not a multicultural, omni-polictal high school alumni list.

Right on [name]. First Amendment above all else.

and when someone retorted to stop "posting in ignorance":

Really? Support of free speech is an ignorant view?

I feel very strongly about the First Amendment. And all the others, for that matter. I also believe in the right for free speech. But I also know basic civil discourse and politeness. Dude, when you order your food at a restaurant, you don't want the waiter to suddenly start ranting about worshipping his god or something. Or, "does this look infected to you?" That's just rude.

Then they just got mean:

Yea!!! you're annoying [name of another person]!! get me out of here!! get me outta here!!!
I can't take it anymore!!!! blah blah blah.....this is great...i just got
home from a nice day at work chasing people around and i get to read about a
girl who can't handle a web page! This is great!!!
Hey [one of his pals] get a load of this!!! We got some really sensitive people here who
can't handle a web page with constructive dialogue, disagreements and
exchanges of points of view........

That's just bullying. This person is an adult. In his late 30s. Good lord, I'd be embarrassed to be this person's mother. It gets better when someone replies that this is not a public forum, it's her e-mail box:

whatever darling!!! this bully has saved more lives in the past ten years
then you can count....and guess what...i don't ask for anything in return....now
take your sweet self down to the local pub and cool off with a tall one

Darling. Wow. I bet this person smacks the ass of his secretary. And wait, he's saved lives! And doesn't ask anything in return! Not that this has to do with anything said, but he apparently felt like he had to use this as a crux for his argument. If he doesn't ask for anything in return, why bring it up? If I was a psychologist, I'd say he was trying to compensate for an insecurity, but I didn't go to school and become a psychologist.

By the way, the guy who "chases people around" is in law enforcement. I wonder how he treats a rape case? I wonder if he favors "some lives" to save over "others?" I don't know, but I am weary of someone who posts like they are 13.

So... that's been the morning's drama. Posted in: mclean

McLean folks: I ran into a few people (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Well, I ran into ONE person.

Mary Thorpe, now under a married name, was in the local Red Robin. She's got two kids, aged 3 and 7... I think. The most amazing part of this is she's lived a few block from me for the last 4 years. She told me she spoke to Donnalee's mother a while ago, and Donnalee is not doing so well, so I will have to break down and call her. I have her current address and number, but my life got really complicated a few years ago, and I couldn't follow up on the lead. I have to be a decent person and call her.

Also, Stina MacLamore contacted me on Facebook. She's practicing LAW in Miami, of all places. Speaking fluent Spanish helps her, but she's not reading sci fi anymore! Dude. Well, she's married to a handsome Cuban man, so who cares about SF! Hah.

Man, just a few years ago, I barely knew what happened anyone from the old school. Now, I am finding all kinds of folks. The Lewinsville Reunion may happen after all. Posted in: childhood , mclean , school

CR! Rock on! (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

No longer a high school go-gaggu-wa

Ray Romano has this bit where his mother tells him to complete college. When he asks why, she says, "So you can say you're a college graduate." You mean I can't say that now? "I am a college gajjeet! A ko-kakka go-gaggu-wa! Dammit! Three credits and I could have had it!"

So CR, after 18 years of moderate childhood angst, has made it my education level. I mean, yeah, I also got scattered college credits, but they don't count. He is a full graduate of Chantilly High School, even though he had to finish it in the summer.

His graduation ceremony was modest and he was among about 20 graduates from 5 nearby schools in his summer program, and maybe 1 of 3 born in this country. Some kids were graduating early, there's a 15 year old in his group; she's going to be a college student before she learns how to drive (her biggest complaint). Another had to leave the country to be by his dying mother, but came back, and was graduating at age 20. He actually gave the student-based inspirational speech, and even though his English was pretty bad, his story was heart-wrenching and very, very well composed and written. The whole thing was maybe an hour long, indoors, and I was happy to see so many graduates had HUGE families that came to see them. In front of us was a very sweet Hispanic family, and one of the Islamic students had maybe 20-30 people cheering for her. Even the neglected kids seemed to have friends who showed up and cheered for them. "GO BRITTANY!!! WOOOOOO!" "TYLER! YEAH!!! HOO HOO HOO HOO!" CR was one of 6 or 7 graduating from his school, and he graduated with an old childhood friend from Bailey's, the magnet elementary school he went to from grades 1-5.

Contrast that to the McLean ceremony I had in 1987, which was slated to be six hours long, had two famous guest speakers (I think Senator Chuck Robb, and Desmond Tutu's daughter), several local guest speakers, a few student speeches, and over 340 students to go through. It was held outdoors, in a hot and muggy summer day, during the *height* of the 17-year cicada season. So in addition to being hot, bored, and covered with thumb-sized insects, the combined apathy of the graduating class and the growing unrest in the bleachers of parents forced the students to END the graduation early. Anya said when she graduated in 1995, it was about the same, except it was down to four hours, and no cicadas. While takayla didn't mention hers, she agreed this was MUCH better than what CR's class had a few months earlier: 3500 parents and students at the Patriot Center, where tickets were like $70/person, I think. Yikes!

We did have to pay, however. The $188 we paid for this one included me, takayla, and Anya, if you combine the "senior dues" he had to pay last year (they never collected for this year... oh they ASKED for it, but never collected), and $128 extortion fees on "owed equipment," counting a $108 "advanced graphic" calculator CR never owned (he never took advanced math courses), but someone said he did, and they wouldn't let him graduate unless he paid (and we couldn't complain because "the woman" who handles these affairs was "on a cruise for the next two weeks"). On the check I sent them, in the comments section it says, "Bribe money" and on the back where you sign the check, I wrote, "By cashing this check, Fairfax County agrees that this was paid under duress, and completely illegal." I know they never look, I did this with other "mysterious fees" the schools have charged us in the last 13 years, including his junior year "senior dues" and various other untraceable "equipment charges." I learned this trick back in the days of bill collectors who had a juicy habit of "forgetting" you paid them.

But it's over. He has his diploma in a purple leather binder, and on Saturday, takes entrance exams for college. The current plan is 2 years of NOVA (which is no shabby college, let me tell you, one of the best Community Colleges in the nation), and then onto a graduate college (one of several in Northern Virginia are being considered, I'd love to get him into VA Tech if we can afford it). His current idea is to become a TEACHER for small children which is AWESOME and I think he'd be a great teacher.

Congratulations CR! I am so proud of you, and I love you very, very, very much!

In other news, aksident, whom wanted to be with us, and we wanted her as well, could not attend because she was doing volleyball tryouts at her school. Good thing, because she not only MADE THE TEAM but was ONE OF ONLY TWO FRESHMEN picked for the JV team! Usually they only pick Juniors and Sophomores if they are lucky. But she's always been skilled and competetive, and I wouldn't be surprised to see her at the 2012 Olympics. Posted in: aksident , childhood , cr , graduation , mclean

Time Machine: My 20th Reunion (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I think 10 years ago, I would have said I wouldn't go to no crummy reunion of a school I didn't like. I didn't like McLean very much, as indicated by like a dozen posts in this blog (which according to Kevin P, I should outright lie and brag is the best in the world, HAH!). But then when reunion after reunion got canceled, I felt bad, like somehow the underdog was losing. So when when a classmate contacted me and said McLean was trying for the 20th, I was all over that.

And I am glad.

Before, I was a little nervous. Would I be bored? Would more than one or two people speak to me? Would the people who bullied me still be jerks (although, really, they stopped bullying me after 10th grade)? What would I say to the vast majority of people who showed up that were nothing more than faces attached to names in the hallways and classrooms?

You end up saying, "Wow, it's been 20 years!" and "It's been a long time, man," which to school reunions, is the equivalent of, "Have a nice summer" signed in yearbooks.

Overall, though, I give the experience a B or B+. Not an A for various silly reasons, but I am really glad I went. And takayla and I looked DAMN good. She was wearing this black sparkly number, and as beautiful as always, while I wore a black dress shirt, black slacks, and a silver abstract tie. And my magic shoes! The hotel had previous hosted Katsucon and several FanTek cons over the years, so it was funny to see that my reunion was held in the former Katsucon video gaming room. They got rid of the smell and everything! :)

The best thing for me was bringing takayla, and I am deeply grateful how she put up with being bored. I just wanted her there.

Seeing shuttergal in person after not physically seeing her for 20 years was awesome. The hat! The awesome hat! We spoke of a mutual friend, Meredith, and I hope Meredith responds to my e-mail because she's going through a dark patch and I'd like to help. We spoke of Voodoo Donuts in Portland and how awesome it would be if they made cupcakes. Maybe I should start a company here like that. Put it near College Park.

Speaking of childhood friends, Mary-Ann P was GREAT to talk to. Why the hell don't I speak to this girl more often? Alison B was also great to talk to. I had to chase her down, but she's still got the kind, sweet face I remember. Ann Y, who lived a block away from me, was a great surprise to speak with, and I am so glad I got to say hi and see she's doing well. Kit C, the "not commercial airline pilot" I had been led to believe for many years, and her husband were positively awesome. Courtney M, it was great to meet a woman who fights fires, I am totally going to tell my friend fadedblackrose about it (see, I like firefighters because I have this sick thrill that someone would willingly rush INTO a fire for noble causes), and I hope we still chat over Internet once in a while.

That also reminds me of the uneven ratio of people who went to Lewinsville Elementary School (closed 2 years after we left) that made it to the reunion. Only a handful of us that went to LES graduated MHS because it spanned a re-election congressional term and a presidential term, which always meant in my area a wave of people moving in and new people filling their homes. I think like only 20-30 of us did, and probably about a dozen of them were at the reunion. Jessica B, Mary C, Mary Ann, Mike E, Lisa N, Ann, shuttergal, Holly L, Kit, Courtney, and probably a few more I forgot.

Knock my ass over with a feather, I had planned (in my head) for the next highlight but thought it would have been much more likely no one said anything to anyone about it: Tray T, the guy who busted my neck, apologized to me. I can't imagine what guts that took. He just came right up to me in the buffet line, sincerely shook my hand and arm, and apologized in a manner that suggested it had been bothering him for 20 years. I forgot his actual words, but it was more of a general, "If there was anything I ever did to you back then, I am so so sorry..." I, of course, awkwardly accepted his apology, not because I didn't want it, but I wanted to say the right thing so there'd be closure I am sure he was looking for. I told him it meant a lot to me, but I had moved past it, but thank you. Because, really, Trey was nothing more than a catalyst that started a whole "this is why my life is fucked up!" journey back then. It could have been anyone that had hurt me bad enough to be hospitalized, even a random drunk driver, and the story would been the same. But what his apology did was remove the thread of malice that used to exist ("NERD!") and turned it into an accident. After all, he was like 15. We all did a lot of dumb shit at 15. So, yeah, Trey, totally forgiven. And I am happy to see someone who takes the time to make amends.

There were also a few of my former bullies. Most avoided eye contact, but I waved anyway. One sat at my table. "What's the WORD?" he asked. "Anime is the future!" I said, only because I had just spoken with Tor S.

Tor, who lived like 3 houses from me and had a half brother who played the drums so loud that they put soundproof plastic on his bedroom windows after the neighbors complained, I always though of as having the most Scandinavian name I had ever heard. He's a social studies teacher (the best part) at Oakton High School, and head of their anime club. And had heard of me, through his students which was like a criss-crossing of worlds that disoriented me for a bit. Tor also owns a paintball park, which I have to mention because that's too cool not to. But he said, "I know this guy, I went to school with him!" His students are like "no way!" Oakton High? It's true. He did. Mr. Strom lived close to me. We even hung out once in a while! Tor wants me to speak to his kids, I don't know what to say? "Don't do drugs, stay in school, drink your milk?" I'll think of something...

Stacy S, my partner in crime of the McLean School Sci Fi and Fantasy Club (MHS₃F₂C) has completely lost her geek factor. Man! I am SO totally putting up scans of the newsletter now! :)

Fred V, former gaming buddy and friends with stevonwolf was a welcome surprise of "people I was good friends with and never spoke to again after high school." Steve, he told me YOU gave Nicole P the Timex Sinclair, which he gave me, and later I gave to an astrophysics friend of mine who needed a ZX80 board for a project at NASA. I wonder if you ever knew that... that board ended up working for their Solar Labs!

Jen D! Aw man, I was glad she came, even though we hung out at stodgycat's parties and had totally caught up ages ago. We spoke about AOL, which is how we dragged Mary C into our table.

Mary C, the "famous" Mary C, not only showed up, but was incredibly sociable to everyone (and why not, she was that way in school). She sat with me for a while, and we spoke about her job at AOL, how AOL had changed for her. "I didn't know you worked for AOL until I looked you up on Wikipedia tonight," I admitted. "I'm on Wikipedia?" she asked, a bit amused. I wanted to say DUH! but she added, "I try not to Google myself." Heh. If I was in public eye in a controversial political climate, yeah, I wouldn't either. So sweet and very down to earth, same old Mary. I'd like to say, "Oh we totally hung out in school," but we didn't at all. But being from Lewinsville, we all sort of... hung out a lot at the reunion. Again, we should totally have a Lewinsville reunion. If only I was that organized... but again, it was awesome to speak to Mary. I didn't think she'd come, what with secret service detail and all, but she said, "he's around here somewhere..." while looking around the room for him. Probably one of the catering, I thought, because that's SOOO what Hollywood would have done. Hee. Now I am going to have a debriefing... :-P

She reminded me, among the kids of senators, congresspeople, and high profile people, that secret service WAS part of some of our lives. I had forgotten that. I used to live next to a senator and his kids, and sometimes dealt with the infamous van across the street (Ford Aerostar, white stripe, the CIA had a fleet of those, and I am sure leased them out) and guys in suits you don't talk to at parties because he's "doing his job right now."

Some people looked tremendously different. Some people looked eerily the same. Most were a mix. A few people hadn't changed, but for most, that was a good thing.

While the reason I went turned out better than I expected, and I had a great time, the third-party committee (Blue Isle Entertainment) hired to do the reunion were a little rough around the edges. When we came to the table, we were asked angrily "is the Potomac Valley reunion, or the McLean one?" The hotel had booked us with another reunion on the other side of the third floor. Then we got the "Memories Book" which was little more than a cheesy Kinko-bound book with a smattering of what people were up to now, outdated addresses, and a LOT of misspellings (and I noticed this, me, the KING of misspellings). Not just names, which was the bulk of it, but kerning and uses of "with" and "which" which I know personally is because of spell checkers. "Write your name on it," we were told. "People will steal it if you don't." Classy. What's the worst "typo" was revealed at this announcement at the end of the night:

"There's a big error in the book. John Smith is NOT deceased!" There was a cheer, and a lot of people around John Smith hugged and congratulated him. Haw. Rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated, apparently. :)

The function room was also not conducive for so many people. Someone I know who was mildly claustrophobic was having issues. I had to shout most of the night to be heard across a table, and god love all of you who came, but I have a hereditary hearing loss, and I couldn't hear most of you about half the time. The cash bar was horrendously expensive, and while I know about hotel corkage fees from conventions I help run, $4 for a small 8oz glass of Pepsi is ridiculous. Mixed drinks and beer were also over $8. Really? $8 for a bottle of American beer?

One thing about reunions I would recommend is have a pre-rehearsed speech about the following, because you will have to say it over and over all night:
- Summary of your last 20 years in no more than 3-4 sentences, including college, and any jobs you had for a long time (or, "I works various tech companies for a few years, and now I am at...") If your job is industry specific, like an ISP, over-simplify it, because the guy who got a PhD in paleontology might not know what "frame relay over dark fiber" means any more than you would know who "Dr. Badamgarov from the Paleontological Institute in Ulaanbaater" is. No one is stupid, we just know different things that's all.
- Summary of your spouse and children.
- Where you live now and why.
- Answer of anything you were famous for back then, either an ex-boyfriend everyone expected you to marry, of "do you still wear funny hats?"
- Anything that you did that stands out, like "You're a writer? What did you write?" or "What is an anime convention?"

Note to self: making fun of Senator Ted Stevens and "tangled up tubes" is NOT funny to those who no nothing about the Internet or watches the news. Or whose parents are friends with him. Oops. Also, do NOT eat carrots. You will spit bits of it on people while talking. Sorry, guys... I should have also bought breath mints.

But otherwise? Yeah, I had a great time. For those of you who read this, I am so glad to have seen most of you. Sorry if I forgot who you were; I saw a few people I didn't remember wandering around alone... because I don't think anyone else remembered them, either. I wanted to talk to these people, but I had such limited time keeping up.

I only took a few pictures. I hope to have them up when I find my camera cable... Posted in: mclean , reunion , school

Oooh... dirt from my past... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

The following is pretty petty. It has to do with someone I didn't like about 20 years ago. It's one of those guilty pleasures of seeing people you can't stand because they do bad things get justice for... well, continuing to do bad things.

So, in my high school, we had that principal named Muriel Price. He was like our Ed Koch (former mayor of New York who was famous for driving his limo around the city, leaning out the window, and asking random citizens, "How am I doing?"). Goofy, friendly, and I think some of the kids thought of him like a joke. He didn't take his job very seriously, and I couldn't really say anything negative about the guy. He got promoted in my sophomore year to Area II District Supervisor. His replacement was a woman named Elizabeth Lodal.

Now, before I begin, Ms. Lodal didn't do a damn thing to me personally (that I was aware of). My beef with her was her clueless leadership. She drove out teachers who cared, kept teachers who didn't, and I got to hear all sorts of things about her from the teaching staff whom I worked with; I was a student assistant for several teachers, office assistant, and generally hung out with many other teachers after school who found me easy to confide in which is why I still won't name names. If you were a teacher, either you liked her because you felt she brought law and order, or you hated her because you saw her as a shallow charlatan who got the job for reasons that eluded them. One major sticking point with a few teachers and many students was her former job was a kindergarten teacher, and while I can't seem to confirm this anywhere, I can state that my memories of her were pretty much like one you'd expect from a kindergarten teacher if they were suddenly put in charge of a high school.

There was the time some kids cut down the McLean High School sign at the Davidson Road entrance. That happened so much, they never put up a good sign for a long time. Well, she paid a lot of money to have a nice sign put there with some trees. And... they got cut down. Trees and all. She came over the PA system the next morning, and actually burst into tears over the incident. I was in English class when this happened, and i remember all the students looking at one another as if to say, "Is this REALLY happening?"

Nobody attended pep rallies. Well, maybe a handful of people did, and god bless them for trying. But this wouldn't do for Ms. Lodal. Oh no! So she made them mandatory! It was like right out of a bad Nickelodeon sitcom. She couldn't force kids to stay after school, so she'd hold them in the middle of the day, interrupting class for 3 long hours in a crowded Gym. In my senior year, a few mild riots broke out. There was that one day when people just got up and left, and I'll never forget the pathetic handful of teachers trying to keep us from leaving. Like 5 against a few thousand, grabbing students' clothing in vain. "No no, young man, you come back-- HEY! You too, you get back to those bleachers and cheer-- and where do YOU think you're going?"

Because "some parent complained," our mascot, the Highlander, was replaced with a Scottish terrier mascot, which looked like a big furry hippo suit. This was almost a decade before Braveheart came out, you understand. "A man in a dress might confuse the students," some morally righteous busybody said. Not that I liked the mascot, but how much treat does a small yappy dog have? "GO GET THEM SCOTTY! PEE ON THEIR LEGS! DIG UP THEIR FLOWER GARDEN! YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!"... nnno.

Some of you know my best friend in high school was a girl named Kate. Kate was a modern gal who did not want to wear a dress to graduation night. She wanted to wear jeans, and thought it was very sexist that the dress code insisted she wear a white dress; something she did not won, and had no intention of owning. Her guidance counselor never seemed supportive of her. Mine was great, but hers always seemed to think that if Kate just wore contacts, and put on a little makeup, she'd be more attractive to boys and not "stir up trouble."

"So you're saying I need to get laid to shut up? Did your husband tell you that?" I think was her reply. Her mother certainly didn't approve of their attitude, and supported her daughter, which didn't help matters. So she got labeled "one of those" (something I got as well), and by our senior year, we pretty much could slip around the school anywhere. One day, Kate confronted Ms. Lodal at an art show our school had. Obviously, I am paraphrasing, but the confrontation went sort of like this:

Kate: Why do I have to wear a dress?
Lodal: Oh, I think you'd look adorable if you wore a dress!
Kate: [aghast] That's SEXIST!
Lodal: Come now... I know, deep down, you wish you could look pretty like the popular girls.
Kate: [angry] Wow! No, I don't!
Me: The school dress code has not required a girl to wear a dress since it was repealed in the late 1960s.
Lodal: [never ending smile] Well, aren't you well read?
Kate: You can't force me to wear a dress! How could you tell anyway, the cheap gown I was forced to buy goes past my feet!
Lodal: We'll be inspecting under that gown, young lady. If you're not wearing a white dress, then no graduation for you!
Me: I think that forcing her to wear a garment that exposes her legs and underpants to the elements is rather suspiciously sexist. Who will be doing the inspecting?
Lodal: The police.
Kate: The police?
Lodal: The police will be there. I am sure once you wear a dress, you'll feel pretty.

Then she left, convinced that La-la Land would erase any memory of the confrontation. Kate was livid for DAYS over this. I was particularly pissed off that knowing the student handbook labeled me as "well read" with a negative tone. Now it's 20 years later, and I would have told Kate, "Wear pants. If they lift up your skirt, hit their hands with a Chinese fan and scream, 'MASHER!'"

Oh, and while this will surprise nooooobody, the police did not inspect under anybody's gowns. I might have worn a dress (ooh! A hoop skirt with lots of crinoline!) and had her wear jeans, and say we got confused. Thank God I didn't have the ire then as I do know, or I think McLean might have been burned to the ground.

Bitch.

The best part was in my senior year, I wrote a letter detailing her lack of leadership, sexist comments, and other things I thought were wrong with her in 3 typed pages of momentary disgust and fury. I forgot about this letter. In 1990, three years later, I got a call from the county clerk's office. Apparently there was a hearing that was being sponsored by several parents, former teachers, and a few students. They had my letter on file and wanted me to testify. I was unable to show up to the hearings, but I did make a taped statement with a court official in my apartment. Now, sadly, they didn't ask me so much about my letter as things like, "Did you ever witness racist behavior? Did she ever ask you to lie about something in exchange for better grades? Did she ever ask you how many minority students were present in your classrooms, and were you ever asked to make false statement regarding test scores, behavior, or number of minorities in your school, classes, or test centers?" It seemed that she was on trial for falsifying records, making misleading statements, and just general leadership issues. Nothing really to do with what I had written about, and considering the questions, my complaints seemed petty. She was in serious trouble... or not. The trial was inconclusive, and she later retired with a quiet hoorah. They named the damn school library after her.

So, THAT was my beef with ol' glassy eyes. The fact that anyarm dated her son once, and then was forever associated with him in Ms. Lodal's eyes didn't help much. In 1994 so, she tried to have "Lodal-palooza" to prevent kids from going to popular rock concerts at the time by having her own. According to anyarm, "Nobody attended. She couldn't even get the school's rock bands to perform, so she had to hire one." This is how clueless she was.

Then she came out of retirement to be principal at TJ Tech, a magnet high school that opened in our area. And then I just found out, she was forced to retire, although she denies it, because she made public comments that Asian stundets are prone to cheating. Suddenly, the questions in that trial made sense. I thought it was just because she was doing a bad job, but they might have had some rap on her for minority bashing.

I'd say this was a fitting end, but they stuffed her in some job where she serves as a delegate on the Education Commission of the States, where she'll probably go on doing what she does... without much clue.

Thanks to Joe Tran, McLean High School graduate of 1988, who is looking for other MHS and TJ grads from that year. Contact me at my punkwalrus account on yahoo if you'd like to get in touch with him. Posted in: lodal , mclean , school