There was a post on a forum I read about things you're embarrassed you can't do. I posted, but then I thought of SO many more. And I thought you'd want to laugh at me, so I'm posting them here.
1. I can't drive stick. I think I could probably figure it out, but I've never learned, despite many people offering to teach me. Though, no one's offered in a long time.
2. I could never coordinate my limbs enough to climb the rope in gym class. I have no upper arm strength so I'm a spaz right there. But lots of people climbed with their legs, and while I could probably lift a car with my legs, I couldn't figure that one out at all.
3. I can't make pancakes. They either come out raw, or burnt on the outside, full of hole-y bubbles and tough exterior, or I turn the heat down and they spread and meld into one another. I stick to making waffles in the waffle maker, but I still mess that up sometimes too.
4. I have NO sense of direction. I have to visualize NSEW in my head, then figure out where I am in relation to where I'm going and what direction I'd need to go in, and by then I've missed the exit. I was once coming home from the mall, which is maybe 20 minutes from me, there was an accident on the on-ramp to the highway I normally take. There's another highway at that same junction that will take me pretty much to the same spot a little further along... but I am stupid and couldn't figure out which way to go, even though I've been on this road numerous times!
I also cannot sound cool and tell people something is north of something else, or that a certain part of my house faces the south , or whatever. Do people just make that up?
Along these lines, I cannot read a map unless I turn it so that it's facing the direction I'm going.
5. Can't cross my legs. Even before I became overweight I couldn't figure this out. Rather, I couldn't make my leg bend in that direction, even when picking it up and moving it. I could GET it ALMOST in that direction, but it wouldn't stay there, for sure. That's the real reason I hated getting dressed up. Not because I didn't like to/felt uncomfortable, but because I knew I would feel awkward all night long trying to keep people from seeing up my dress.
6. I can't make gravy out of fat and flour and broth. Nope, cannot do it. Read instructions and follow them to a T, and still end up with at best, a gloopy gelatinous quivering mass worthy of a blue ribbon at a science fair.
7. I can't dance. I have no rhythm, don't ask me to. I can "slow dance" if that means holding hands/shoulders with someone and shuffling around.
8. I can back my car into a spot where I want it to go, but if there's other cars/obstacles in that spot, brain short circuits. Same thing with driving fast on twisty roads. I'm fine if there's no cars near me, but if there's oncoming traffic I turn into a spaz.
9. I can't jump start a car because I can never remember what to do, what to hook up first, should the other car be running, or what? I'm the one hiding behind the bushes becaus I fear an untimely demise courtesy of a large blue arc and some crackling sounds.
10. I can't make a piercing whistle with or without 2 fingers in my mouth. I've even read countless tutorials on the web, and still can't figure that one out. When I learned how to "regular" whistle, I was in the fourth grade and whistled all day, driving the teacher nuts. I can only imagine what would happen if I learned this.
That is all I can think of at the moment.
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things my stupid ass can't figure out