Truly bad grammar (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I just thought of this random story I often have to retell, and so I am making an entry for posterity's sake.

I used to work at the (late) Cargo Furniture, and the district manager for the South was a spry older woman who used to be a former kindergarten teacher. I think her name was Joyce. Now, personally, I never had an issue with the woman except for her incessant memos. We used to get packets every week from the home office, and once in a while, this woman would have some happy-wappy announcement of some sort, usually having to do with sales contests.

This woman, despite her educational background, was a terrible, terrible writer. Her memos were frequently misspelled, she used a lot of ALL CAPS, extra punctuation, and was the queen of misplaced apostrophes. Here's an example:

ATENTION ALL SALE'S STAFF

Are recent quota contest, is running in FULL GEAR!!! Halfway there, and already we have some AMAZING QUOTABUSTER'S!! Stephane of the Florida otlet is 20%%%% OVER HER AVERAGE QUOTA!!!!! Can YOU beat her score's????? Grig of Springfield in Verginia is 15%%%%%!!!!! There combined score's have rocketed the Estern region over 17%%%!!!

I see sunny sky's, and margarita's in there future!!!

Yeah, it hurts the eyes, doesn't it? Posted in: cargo , grammar , work

On dutch grammar: I'd like to move to a new universe (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

Aww man! I want to move to a new universe where grammar is less fscked up.

Halfway through 2006 I ranted about bad spelling and grammar. And today I learned that two of the four items I mentioned are now valid dutch! D:

So it's perfectly normal for someone to call you "paranoia", because it no longer is just a noun. No! Because everybody's been using the word incorrectly it's now also a valid adjective! *grr!* WTF?!

And then there's my pet peeve "hallucinating mushrooms". Someone just informed me that this is in fact not incorrect usage of the word, but a grammar style called hypallage.

*sigh* Now I have less things to gripe about. ;_; Posted in: dutch , grammar , hypallage