The see me mowin' they be hatin'... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Today is Easter. According to Catholics, if Jesus comes back and sees his shadow, we have another 2000 years of guilt.

I spent most of today doing yard work. The day was so nice, I had to take advantage of this. The lawn was already getting tall in some places, and I still hadn't removed all the debris from when I gutted the lawn in front of the house. There was some major overgrowth, but I think I got most of it as only a little bit is growing back. I removed a lot of dead branches and brush, too. I yanked out some serious weeds, but it was more a ceremonial thing since the weeds grow back so quickly. I tilled the soil in the garden again, getting ready to plant tomato plants in a few weeks.

I am also taking advantage of the gutting of one side of the house that ironkite helped me with last winter. That soils is so rich, that it quickly becomes overgrown with weeds faster than any part of the yard. It also... stinks a bit... (or used to) like fresh manure. There may be a sewer line leak or maybe some animals have been using it to poo in back when it was completely overgrown with brush (it did not smell like poo gas today, and it's not near a sewer line, so I am betting on the latter). It's also in a real sunny spot, too. I have been laying down a lot of grass clippings to keep the weeds at bay, making the soil rather soft and loamy. I plan on putting a few tomato plants there as well, as I always have way more seedlings than I need. See what happens, you know?

I busted my hoe today, which is I think a 2-star crime on Garden Theft Auto IV.

Getting my mower to roar to life was harder than it's ever been since I got the new one a few years ago. I think it needs a tuneup and sharpening, but the place that used to do it got blown up and they put a Rigg's Bank on that corner. I'll have to find a reputable mower place in the Yellow Pages. Anyone got a good lead on one in Fairfax? Posted in: easter , mowing , yard , yardwork

I have had an amazing weekend so far. (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Where do I start?

Friday, a story I submitted got accepted as a screenplay. I'll get paid (tuppence, really), but more importantly, credit. A company wants to do a film of mine from my "Jill Rides and Airplane," I wrote a while back. I got the contract on Friday. Woo!

Saturday I went to DC and hung out with ninjacooter. We had a great time. First, we met at the Air and Space museum but it was so crowded that it was very unpleasant, so we quickly left. Then we went to the Cochran and that was better, but we got stuck in a loop in the "depressing medieval art period" wing, and I really got my fill of the Virgin Mary and little Bebe Jezuz. There are some painting from the 1500s and 1600s, though, that are so realistic, I think souls are trapped in the paintings.

So we got bored with that and took a bus down to Chinatown, which still sucks. DC Chinatown, for you out-of-towners, is about as Chinese as as the "Chop and Wok" fast food you find in large shopping malls. If you see it in your tour guide when you come here; skip it. Our Chinatown is about a city block in size, has maybe a dozen shops and restaurants (most of the corporate shills), and they are scattered between a Starbucks, Fudruckers, and a huge sports arena called "The Verizon Center." Apparently there was some NCAA nonsense going on, if I even knew what that meant. I think that's basketball. Well, it was crowded, too, but ninjacooter and I managed to find three shops that seemed authentic, except one had Hispanic employees. There was one herb shop that was SOAKED with some spiritual mojo. I ended up getting two Chinese lanterns and one of those silk red knots (which one of my cats promptly tried to eat when I got home). How touristy of me.

Then we wandered around that area and found the Spy Museum (too much) and "Madame Tussauds Wax Museum" (too much) and I didn't even know we HAD one of those in DC. When did that happen? Then we tried to find a bathroom, and eventually I found one in the McDonalds in the Verizon center which was *filthy* and broken (the sink didn't work, the toilet had no seat, there was no soap, and there was piss all over the floor).

One of our biggest "finds" was St. Patrick's Cathedral in DC. We went in, and I was amazed by the awe and spectacle of this church. They were out of holy water, though :(. The preacher there told ninjacooter, with a poker face so I couldn't tell if he was brushing us off or not, that the water had been removed to prepare for some special water being blessed for Easter.

Right. All this weekend I forget it's Easter.

After that, we stopped by a book store, and rested a bit. After 5 hours and 9 miles (according to my pedometer), we were exhausted. We ended up spending our last hour hanging out at Metro Center, watching the metro cars come and go. She went home to visit a friend of hers from Scotland, and I went to Frederick, Maryland, to hang out with some of the MSD crowd. I got there rather later that I had planned, so I could only stay for a little while. The food was excellent, and I got to spend some spiritual time with aynne_witch, and evilpassion8's youngest daughter, a 12 year old WoW player.

My dreams have been weirdly prophetic lately. Like Hollywood level "waking dreams" I only thought happened in Frank Herbert books. I can't elaborate but things like, "from a hurricane comes a drum maiden with the name of the heavens," and then you meet a drummer who fled Katrina with the name "Angel".. that can really be jarring.

I didn't get home until late late. But I had to wake up early to see anyarm's baptism. She is getting married to Brian in June, and she needed to be baptized at Brian's church, which he really hadn't attended since he was a child. Brian is half Korean (the right half, if you must know), and his mother is Korean so it was a Korean Baptist Church. Some of my friends from McLean would know (either because you were Korean or knew the same friends I did) that most of the Koreans in our area who exercise their religion are either Baptist, Methodist, or some traditional Shinto-Buddhist. The last Korean religious anything I was at was a friend's... something. They dressed her up in red robes, put her hair up real high, and there was a lot of singing, dancing, and robe twirling in the former Greek reception hall on Maple Avenue. I am pretty sure it was a Buddhist ceremony of some sort.

This church was... you know those ads for Christian CDs you see on TV? Yeah, like that. These kinds of places make me feel rather uncomfortable. They are all Jesus this and Jesus that. It feels like a cult. While I'd say the clergy was extra-nice and the churchgoers were far more polite and focused than other churches I have been to around here (which are hypocritical to almost be a farce), I still found this Korean baptist's church methods a little pushy. I think they tried to recruit me like 4-5 times during the day. They tried to get anyarm to convert me. They made me write down my number and address to attend (I gave them fake info). I wanted to say, "You do realize I am at least 6 inches taller than the tallest person here, have no Korean background whatsoever, I practice Wiccan and Buddhist dogma, and think that accepting Christ as a God is, at the very least, idolatry forbidden by the first and second commandments stated by Moses in Exodus and Deuteronomy?" But I did not, because you don't go into someone's temple, no matter how many golden calves you might see, and throw out their moneylenders.

This church was in a temporary location, right above an industrial building that housed spare nursery equipment, Rugby supplies, a Jordan Kitts pickup area, and who knows what else. It was the kind of place featured in half of "Grand Theft Auto III." When I walked into the narrow doorway and climbed the steps to the second floor, I didn't expect much. But this church must have had the entire second floor of this building as it unfolded into a labyrinth of doors, hallways, rooms, and giant common areas. And it needed the space; there were a LOT of people. I know it was Easter, but wow. I'd say there were easily over several hundred people there. LOTS of kids, too. Most everyone was cheerful, but I felt the heady aroma of money everywhere. Old men in very expensive suits dotted the crowd, talking to other men in business suits. Women wearing the latest fashions for the up and coming Korean moms chased after kids in their Sunday best. I had this very odd feeling if I ever wanted to make contacts for my company, I could easily start here. If I was Korean, that is. Or maybe not, I don't know, everyone wanted me to be a member. I totally felt like a Swedish dork. Totally. But no one ostracized me or stared at me, other than many small children staring at might impressive height. I suspect this will happen to me in Japan, too. Their main hall, which sat about a few hundred, had the kind of audio/visual equipment that would have make Katsucon tech door in evny. "I don't recall church being this elaborate," Brain said, almost apologetically. "They never had any of this when I went. It's so BIG now..." Fifteen ears can made a big difference.

But apart from the sales pitch and the "you're not from around here, are you boy," vibe I was giving myself, the baptism was touching, and like I said, the clergy very friendly. Poor Brian, who hadn't attended church since he was a kid, and didn't speak much Korean. And everyone who worked at the church did their VERY BEST to accommodate us. For instance, we were given wireless translators, like the kind they use at the UN. So while the reverend talked about resurrection, we listened to what sounded like a bored male teen translate on the fly in our stereo headsets.

My little sister anyarm was dressed, head to toe, in white. She sat in the tub, got dunked, and read from her speech how she accepted Christ and whatnot that made my stomach sour. I am not sure which was worse, the fact she had to say this, or she didn't mean it (part of me hopes she does in some way). They were both conflicting morals in my gut. And afterwards, they introduced me and Brian, gave us flowers, and... I was treated like a celebrity. Oh, how guilty I felt. I hoped no one asked me if I accepted Christ as my Lord and savior because I might have thrown up on them. I didn't know how to say, "I believe he existed, and think he had some really good ideas, but how come you portray Mary Magdalene as a whore-- you know what, never mind..." I really didn't want to "spread my seed" of doubt among the patrons. That's just rude.

anyarm wasn't the only one baptized. There was another guy, who looked about 29-32, but already had 4 kids. One of his kids turned out to be the lead singer of Harp 46, a Celtic band. Another had blue steaks in her hair, and her twin sister had streaks of Copper in her hair which stabbed my heart because of my friend Copper, named because she died her Korean hair copper as an accident in trying to bleach it blond and decided she liked it better, was murdered 25 years ago this year. Punk Korean girls will always have a place in my heart. Miss you still, Copper.

They fed us Korean food (rice, bean spouts, some chili pepper sauce, and kim chee) in a separate room with the pastor (which seemed to be partially a sales pitch of how awesome the church was once they move back to their recently renovated church in late April). Again, they tried to accommodate our "needs." One of them, comically enough, was to give us plastic spoons and forks which they scrambled to find despite the fact ALL of us could use chopsticks very well. "Oh... ha ha... good..." they said but gave them to us anyway. "This is hot," they said about the chili pepper sauce. You think? "Cam-sa nee-da..." I said like 50 times today. The only Korean words I know. I have to learn more. So on my list of "Languages I have to learn fluently before I die:"

- Swedish
- Spanish
- Japanese
- German
- French
- Korean
- Latin

Right. Better get on that.

I am VERY glad I went. It was an experience. And while it had some uncomfortable moments, I'd say I wouldn't mind going again. But only if I get to debate with the clergy.

So, in addition to the medieval paintings, St. Patrick's Church, and this baptism... I had a very Christian weekend. Oh, on top of that, my Uncle sent me some e-mail saying he was in Vegas last week with a cousin of ours from Sweden (he is also trying to find his Swedish roots). The cousin's name? Christian. Posted in: baptism , baptist , church , easter , korean , washington dc , wicca

I have stuff to do, Easter... Saturday... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Sunday I am still at home. I am thinking of walking to the local food store and binging on Easter candy until I puke. But Saturday, I hang out with ninjacooter in DC, and then I go to tth and aylinn's house to eat boiled meat.

You know, I still think of Easter weekend as Balticon weekend, even though they haven't done this weekend for years.

Oh, and happy Ostara/Spring Equinox to my pagan friends! Blessed be! I told you the dragon wouldn't eat the sun...

Lastly, enjoy a small thing I wrote for grayhawkfh on his LJ. I couldn't log in from work, the browser would accept my login, but wouldn't authenticate me, and I didnt have time to figure out why. This entry here was posted via Logjam on a Linux box. I will vouch for the event: someone did dump hundreds of rubber balls down a stairwell at some Castlecon in the early 1990s (before the Frederick era). The thing that made this noteworthy was the stairwell at that tower was staight: you could be on floor 15 and see the first floor straight ahead. I can imagaine if you fell down those stairs, there would be no turn to stop you from reaching the bottom a bruised sack of broken skin, meat, and shattered bone in a growing pool of blood. Posted in: candy , castlecon , cons , convention , easter , rubber balls , security

This Easter... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

... I will be alone. takayla is going home to West Virginia to be with her sister, CR is going to provide her company (he likes Keyser), and I am staying home to make sure the dogs have someone to take care of them.

I might go to DC and bum around on Saturday, depending on the weather. Sunday is out because the Easter schedules for the Metro are pretty prohibitive, and most everything will be closed, anyway. I also thought about going on a discount candy binge.

My parents were... well, at least my dad was an atheist. I have no idea what my mother's religious convictions were, because religion was forbidden in our home. Yet, we celebrated Easter. I think it was more for me than anyone else, because my mother loved doing the Easter basket thing. My basket was the same basket, year after year, and wore down over the years until it finally was unraveling in my teen years. I got small toys and candy. My mother always made the basket, and to this day I still think the pre-made baskets are lame. There were a few skipped years, especially when my mother got drunk a lot, but for the most part Easter was a "candy thing" until it became a "family dinner" thing, which was never nice, but I have covered those hellish events before.

When I was a teenager, the day after Easter usually meant two things: the end of Spring Break and the day all the candy went on sale. I stocked up on candy, and at some point in the 1980s, the fine folks at Reese's started to make peanut butter eggs. Once, I was at JulieCon 1, wombat1138's mom got like a pallet of them for the party in the basement, and holly god, I swear I ate like a box and a half of them. We're talking the display box they usually have at the register; her mom was one of the first people who took advantage of the new "bulk food stores" that started showing up around here in the 1980s (you know, Costco, BJ's, Price Club, and so on).

One of the things I found was that Easter was the only time of year when the lower quality candy came out. Being raised on fine chocolate, my scale of preferences started with European chocolate, especially Swiss, and went down to Hershey's, which I considered "passable." But there was a lower floor to chocolate during Easter, and I see that it still lives on. Halloween doesn't do this so much. Sure, you see Mary Janes, Necco Wafers, and other rare candies only old and cheap people give out, but Easter especially seems to bring out the bottom shelf chocolate. Often foil-wrapped, brand names that sound like Dutch swear words litter the shelves with a preemptive sense of poor self worth. "I know..." they seem to moan, "I'm not Hershey's..." Sometimes covered with overly colorful wrappings, weird confections lay awkwardly in their poorly designed cardboard displays; uneven rows wax eggs with marshmallow and coconut centers, smelling of paraffin, dust, and old men in Wisconsin forced labor camps. I don't know who makes the chocolate often used in these ghetto confections, but they seem like cargo cult candy makers. Quite possibly the same factory that makes 5-packs of kitchen sponges you see at the Dollar Stores also make Easter candy due to some legal contract from a 1970s buyout. Like they know what candy is, they've seen pictures, but their taste tester is somebody's grandpa who sucks licorice all day during the off season.

Today, someone brought this kind of candy to work. It was a gift from one of our vendors, I think. I took a gander, even though the jar the candy was in smelled, and I am not kidding, roughly of beef jerky. I peeled away the yellow foil, showing a anthropomorphic rabbit sitting upright, a magenta and white egg placed squarely in his crotch. He was smiling too much. What was he doing to that egg? The art was necessary because the chocolate mold I exposed was far more abstract: like comparing the Mona Lisa to a stick figures used in airport safety signs. You could still tell it was a rabbit with and egg, but the oversized eyes were replaced with dots, and the buck-toothed leer of a retarded hillbilly who humps lawn ornaments was just a letter Y. But the disturbing part of this candy was not a curry-like smell, nor the strange matte-like finish where one would expect the usual shine of buffed chocolate... it was a clear stripe right across the entire chocolate. Clear like a chunk of freezer ice that striped through the chocolate like a vein of coal through a mine. It broke at that point, and all I can guess was some of the wax they wanted to use as filler and varnish that didn't mix evenly.

I tossed it. I looked at the plastic jar and saw the ingredients read like a chemical list of a photo lab. The name of the candy was called, "Easter Parade!" (yes, with the exclamation point) and it as made by a company that sounded like "Vanderhooven." A white rabbit danced below the letters, carrying a lace parasol, and a chick with a big straw hat and a ribbon ran beside him in quite possibly the gheyest scene up there with the script writers for "Barney the Dinosaur." No thanks. I am not aggravating my ulcer with grade-z candy, even if it's free.

An hour later, I saw someone tossed the entire thing, candy and all, in the trash. Posted in: candy , chocolate , easter

Easter (Never melts (meef)) by jen

Today we dyed easter eggs. first we tasted the dye to make sure it was worthy. then we anxiously gave the boy an egg. and he performed exactly as expected: then we got into the groove. putting them on a towel to dry: putting them back in their protective carrying case. shortly after that picture was taken, she dropped one egg and wound up taking out four eggs total. Oh, Posted in: easter , kids , pictures