On friends (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Old Prune Bran Alumni badmagic has a post about How do normal people make friends? which has spurned some debate. I suggest you take a look. But then I asked, "How did I make friends?"

In clusters.

As a kid, I had a few friends which thinned out for a while. At first, I hung around a group of mostly girls, like Denise, Allison, shuttergal, Meredith, and Jennifer. Then when girls thought boys were icky, I hung around Mike, Jean, Andy, Kyle, and FJ. I had one "best friend," who was Neal, but he moved away in 6th grade.

In the early, early years, my poor mother couldn't understand why I wasn't the popular kid. She was the popular kid in her school. Not the "snobby Heathers" popular, but like everyone got along with her, she was in so many school photos, had lots of friends, and so on. She would invite all the kids from my class to various parties, I guess in hopes to make me popular, but that didn't work out as well as she hoped. Even in high school, she worried that most of my friends were girls, and I *know* there was some bedroom talk between my mom and dad whether I was gay. Theater? Hangs around girls? Doesn't play sports? Loves musicals? Yeah, I had all the signs. Sadly, though, I got the hots for girls and considered men "hairy and icky." Personally, I don't know how you girls stand them. But I digress. My mother had kind of resigned that she had a gay son, I think, who had no sex life I was willing to talk about.

In junior high, I hung out with two neighbors, John and Jennifer (brother and sister), but I must have been a disturbing kid because they dropped contact with me pretty much as a teenager, and to this day, attempts to stir up some mature friendship bonding has resulted in a cold shoulder at best. I hung out with some community theater folks, gaming nerds (like stevonwolf, Fred, and Nicole), but apart from a few moments of hanging out, not much friendship actually occured. Junior high was pretty depressing, and I think the lowest point in my entire life. At least Neal kept me sane, all the way from El Paso, via cassette tape letters back and forth.

In high school, I got some badly-needed therapy, and first struck up some friends in the goth/punk community, before abuptly leaving that for a "peer-managed" group of misfits (yes, the county assigned me friends based on the fact that loners scared them). But I was in theater, and some of those people were in the sci-fi club. In my sophomore year, I started to make *real* friends, the first since Neal, and I am friends with most of them to this day. While I had different sets of friends, the best were Kate, Jason, Mark, wombat1138, and eeedge, who were a core gaming group as well as people I could just hang out with.

But as badmagic postulated, how does one move to a new area and make friends? I did that when I graduated high school. I was alone, and needed a place to live. That's when FanTek became like a surrogate family. Bruce, Cheryl, Liska, sasqatch, Debbie, and a variety of Daves. Then I got married, but stayed in fandom, where I met friend after friend. I can't tell you how many I have now, but my LJ list is not just a collection of random people who likied my blog. More than half of them I have hung out with in the last 20 years, sometimes for long periods of time (as in years), and many of them are deep, good friends I'd gladly risk my life for. I now have several groups of friends. Online groups, old convention fogies, childhood friends, user group friends, and some assorted stubs.

But... say I get sick of America, and move to Sweden? While that is unlikely, that presents some challenges. Even though most people speak English as a second langauge there, there would still be a language and cultural barrier. But this is a skill my mother was famous for: making friends and social connections in foreign countries she has just arrived in. I must have it in my blood.

First, I'd seek the alternative community. There is an SCA in Sweden (I met some at an Iron Forge museum), I know there's a thriving sci-fi community in Stockholm, so assuming I am in a major city center, I'd target those communities first. Look for computer club notices and Linux user groups. The Internet would make this so easy. At first, I'd make friends with a lot of people I'd probably lose within a year. Not by choice, but that's the reality of it. Maybe I made some mistakes culturally, or maybe we just didn't click after the first few times hanging out. A few I might have to avoid once I realized they were crazy or personally broken in a bad way, but that would only be a few people. But out of a few dozen people I tried, I think one or two would "stick." Then I'd build from there.

If I moved to, say, Lincoln, Nebraska, I'd do the same thing. Or Pittsburgh. Or Salt Lake City, Miami, or Phoenix. Internationally? Tokyo, London, Paris, or Hong Kong I would find a way. Hell, maybe even Beruit. As long as I wasn't in some podunk rural town with no Internet, I would do well. Ad even if and up in Singlegoatistan near the Chinese border where the town only has one phone and two bicycles, eventually, I would do well. It might just take a while. I think I might have to shift around some hobbies... though.

"Wild camel tipping? Tonight? Sure... I'll get my pole." Posted in: childhood , cons , conventions , friends

Balticon Wrapup (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

SoooOOooo...

Another Balticon has come and gone. This is the first con in a while where I didn't have to work as much, and I wasn't with family. I had a good time mostly, but I missed my wife and son pretty bad at times. I am used to having someone to "report back to," kind of like a home base. So I drifted more.

I would like to point out an error I made, takayla did NOT have a business thing she had to attend on Saturday like I told everyone. She just did not want to go. Having done Balticon night ops for years, she was just tired of the whole thing, and we go to cons for different reasons. But I got communication lines crossed due to a misreading of an IM conversation earlier in the year. It didn't help that we couldn't afford a hotel room, so she would have been miserable. I missed her anyway. So, sorry about that mistake.

Where was I? After being with ironkite and aurienne (thanks for the casserole and pizza, guys), I rode back with saritata and her boyfriend Tim to the con, and got sucked into a Vogon poetry contest with Adrienne. I submitted 5 haikus, and two of them were top "winners," if you could call it that. Ha ha. Take that, Frank and Vinnie's Con suite! Afterwards, I went back to the hotel.

I didn't get to hang out with Peter S. Beagle because he was really busy, but I spent a lot of time talking to his agent Connor, which was very cool.

Monday dawned and made the first 4-day con I had been to since Gencon a few years ago. Usually, I never stay the Monday of Balticon (and when Disclave had that weekend, I rarely stayed after Sunday either). I spent most of Monday hanging out with friends. I sat at Nancy's button table, which was awesome, and got to speak with merchant pals. I got invited to several cons, most of which I declined due to logistic reasons (time off from work, on call schedules, being away from family, and so on). But I found out that I am not going to Gencon or Triadcon this year for the same reasons: each con got bought out by a specific vendor, and those vendors don't want competing systems sold at the cons. So MSD won't go, and thus, neither will I.

I might have a way to Otakon, depending on several issues. That's a new development.

Then I was a "non-judgemental judge" for the Towel Fashion contest, teaming up with Adrienne as we did in the days of yore. By the time 2pm rolled around, tth and aylinn were tired and wanted to go home when their shift at the game room ended. So we left and they graciously went out of their way to drop me off at Shady Grove Metro.

The train left very late, and by the time we got to DC, the trains were over-packed full of Memorial Day tourists and a plethora of workers who don't get holidays off because they work retail, hospital, or otherwise pretty brutal jobs. But since it was a holiday, Metro ran holiday hours, which meant one train every 10-20 minutes instead of 3-5 like they usually do during rush hour. The Blue Line went down at Arlington Cemetery, causing a ripple effect on the Orange line, and some 8-9 year old girl had to hold onto me because the sheer force of the people inside had forced her apart from her parents, and she was too short to reach any bars. She gave me some book recommendations I was looking for for Scarlet, so that worked out for me, but I felt bad that so many commuters completely disregarded her. One guy actually rested his backpack on her head until I told him to stop. Man, she's just a little girl, folks! Have you no sympathy?

When I got home, stayed with Ahfu for a little bit, who is doing mildly better. He's really crabby because of the pain and all. Then I had to unpack, spend time figuring out why the Internet went down over the weekend (the Verizon router was broken, luckily I had a spare Linksys), and try and sort out all the notes and contact info people gave me. I also have a large backlog of books to read. The cats and dogs were happy to see me, and Taboo slept by my head and purred for a little while. I fell into a deep sleep and dreamt some pretty bad dreams, though. I have had a feeling all day like, "A storm is brewing." Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions

Back from Balticon (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Much to report, but I am safe and at home. I had an Internet crisis I have no resolved by replacing Verizon's busted router with a spare I had.

I'd like to thank a lot of people. First, I'd like to thank maugorn again for the lift, tth and aylinn for letting me crash, ironkite and aurinne for letting me visit, saritata for being who she is best, and daecabhir and his staff for running a good show. I'd like to thank Paul, Venora, Keith, lohquesse, moliarity, Steve, Tim, Kelsi, and Colette at Ops for letting me hang out (plus anyone else I forgot there who put up with my bad jokes).

I'd like to thank all my panelists, with special thanks to John Henry for his help, Connie Willis for being a good sport and being an intriguing person to chat with, Adrienne Reynolds for the Vogon Poetry and Towel Fashion Show, an agent/publisher named "Connor," for his discussion on humor, and some of the other authors and artists I chatted with at panels, room parties, dinners, brunches, and their merchant tables. I'd also like to thank Nancy Lebovitz for letting me hang out at her table.

ravynmaniac, this is the calmest I have seen you in 3 years! I wonder why... ;-)

Sorry, CJ Henderson, I swear I'll hang out with you next. I know I keep saying that, but you're not only a fascinating fellow, but a great salesperson, and I didn't want to interrupt you while you were busy.

Thank you SUE for all your work. I wished I could work as hard as you.

I had a great time BECAUSE of you all. This is why I go to the conventions in the first place.

See you at Balticon 43!

AVOID THE MOP! Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions

Trojan Horse - The Chaser (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Being at the Hopkins-Walters house is like a relaxacon. Here's another video they shared with me. "Would anyone fall for a Trojan Horse today?" Well, not the Turks, at any rate, right? Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions , video

Balticon - Day 3 (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I am at aurienne, ironkite, and lord_zanther's house as I type this. I have already had a pretty exciting day.

Last night, I went to the room parties, which sadly, were pretty pathetic. I am so sorry, but some of those Worldcon bid rooms were as exciting as a VFW on a Saturday afternoon. Old people with caps, drinking, and mumbling about the youth. A few parties had people I was actively trying to avoid, so I stayed to be polite because I don't have it in me to wander into a room, see someone, and turn around going, "Oh good god, no." But I wanted to.

One party was okay. It was called "Bronx Babes," and advertised it as a "Pwarty," because it was done by an artist and an author of, "The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride," Mary Ann Johanson. I bought a copy of it, and had Mary Ann sign it, because... I am a totally geeky fan of "The Princess Bride." But then someone who talked way too much and was far too insane latched onto me, and well, that was the end of that fun.

I went to bed early, but didn't sleep until 2-3 or so. I have walked a HELL of a lot this con. My pedometer shows 73,000 steps currently, almost 30 miles, which I have tacked on since I left for the Metro Friday.

After spending time worrying, saritata was back today, under meds, and doing okay. She was grading papers, and I got intrigued and so I did some of those dittos myself to see how I'd far when I interpreted poetry. I got a 26/30, which I appreciated the honesty of my answers. It reminded me of when I got homework handed back to me as a teen, and the same familiar, "You missed the point of this question," line came back to me some 22 years later. Hah. Some things never change.

Some of those students, though? Really bad. Some don't get simile at all. One girl, whom I won't name but her name started with an "O" which she made into the shape of a heart, completely missed the point of using words to describe an unpleasant sensation. In fact, along with her dry and technical style of prose, "The girl fell into the mud puddle hard. On her butt," she drew a diagram showing this stick figure of a girl, complete with pigtails and a frown, over a squiggle labeled "mudd [sic] puddle." If you have to draw a picture, you don't get the point of the exercise, hon.

The highlight of the day before I got to the Hopkins house was I had a brunch/meeting get together with Connie Willis. Now I was a panelist at her tongue in cheek, "Who Really Wrote the works of Connie Willis?" and I decided to stop by (well, truthfully, I was invited) to complement her on being a good sport. And you know what? She *IS* a good sport, and a wonderful, entertaining person to boot. I spent almost and hour with her in the Podcast room, talking about writing, Hugos, cats, dogs, and being a female writer. IUf anyone gets a chance to speak with her in a small setting, I'd highly recommend it. She reminds me of Katherine Kurtz, in a way, when it comes to personal anecdotes. I hope I cross paths with her again.

Side note, I hope *I* get to the point one day where I can casually say, "I am Guest of Honor at three cons this year..."

I am spending the day with aurienne, ironkite, and lord_zanther, and perhaps later, Peter S. Beagle, his agent Connor, and hopefully saritata. Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions

Balticon - Day 2 (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

So where was I? I keep getting interrupted.

It's now much later. Past my last panel of the weekend.

Anyway, Maug gave me a lift, and then I arrived to meet MSD (tth and aylinn). I found out that there was no MSD table, and my weekend got even more free. I am staying with them in a suites hotel down the road a bit.

I wore my propeller beanie, and I had a matching one for CR, but he did not come.

I went to Opening Ceremonies, because they said that I'd be mentioned. And I was. As a kind of "A - Z" listing of celebrities that went like this: "Guest of Honor... [Connie Willis speaks then leaves] ...blah blah Guest Artist... blah blah... Ghost of Honor... blah blah... and a lot of other panelists from So-and-so to Grig Larson over there..."

"Yeah!" I said.

And that was that. :) They had belly dancing for OC, and so it reminded me a lot about FanTek cons where I was Emcee. I remember introducing Miraj, Amira, and a few others from troups. Then I went and had steak and potatoes with the Kaese clan, and then had my last panel, "Ghostbuisting 101," which was my big panel for the con.

I shit you not, guess who showed up? Adriene Reynolds! She came down from Joisey to represent Douglas Adams, having interviewed him in 1991? 92? Something like that. She carried a cup around with his "ashes" (some kind of colorful spice), and people kept putting stuff in it to honbor him. At the panel, it had some pins, a patch, and some Pixie sticks. You an FanTek may remember Adriene as the "podium" Costume Call Emcee who would take people (usually men) from the audience where they would be her podium for notes, hold the microphone, and so on. She was also the cheif editor for Gateways Magazine, the last magazine I have had a publsihed story in (to date).

Hey, as I type this paragraph? A cadre of female teenaged lacrosse girls are sitting around me. They like my hat. [giggle]

I didn't sleep well. I was in a couch a little short for my length, and it was hard to curl up. I fell asleep off and on from about 2am to 4am, and then finally got some deeper sleep until I woke up groggily at 7am. I had coffee and crumpets with clotted cream and lemon custard. That was f'n good, let me tell you.

BTW: According to Mike Brill, he has NOT been in a car accident, nor has he ever had a head injury (I was told he was in a massive car wreck in the early-mid 90s to explain his behavior). Both is parents died last year, however. That is sad, since he's an only child. And a die-hard BG (old series) fan. And thinks that the lack of moon landings since the 1970s has been the result of non-progressive thinking. I can't seem to sit anywhere without him coming up and talking to me. He has Apergers (according to him, which I kind of assumed). I heard his arguing down the hall a while ago about Star Wars and how the popular media ruined George Lucas.

Paul Fischer wants me in one of his podcasts after Balticon. Neat!

So anyway, I got to the con around 10 or so, and tried to get Internet access, which as you can see, I finally got due to the Hunt VALLEY Inn's poor password security. I did the meet and greet, trying to figure out what happened to saritata, since the night before she was rushed to the ER. She's recovering; she had some internal issues, and may return tomorrow (hope hope hope).

Now as I type THIS line, 6 or 7 year old girl, dressed as a goth fairy, just came up to me as said she liked my hat. She then told me her parents told her to meet them here. She is SO adorable, I took a picture. Later, I find out the picture is hopelessly blurred. I hate this camera.

I then was on a panel with John Henry (aka John Campbell), Bud Sparhawk, and a woman (I think an Editor of Weird Tales) replacing Jeff Lyman. The panel was called, "Who Really Wrote the Works of Connie Willis?" Connie is the GoH, and until Sue said I was on this panel, I must confess I never heard of her. I had to look her up on the Wikipedia, and that's when I realized I HAD read part of one book she wrote some years ago, "To Say Nothing of the Dog," which I considered rather dull and pointless that I stopped reading about 5-6 chapters in. CRAP! So I got some other books of hers to study. John Henry wrote me, saying Sue mistakenly thought he was the moderator, but assumed the panel would be a light "roast" of sorts. Then he sent me an e-mail later on in the week saying he found out he WAS the moderator, and thus would continue on the "roast." Having done roasts before, I had kind of done it in the light of she would hear about it if she wasn't there. So when she showed up in the audience, I didn't blink. But the other panelists had difficulty slamming this nine-time Hugo award winner in her presence. Connie is a good sport, and she was flattered, funny, and thank GOD she was there, because the four of us had maybe 10 minutes of material at best. It sort of morphed into a "mock Connie, claim she didn't really exist, while asking her questions" panel, which was fine, really.

Connie told us tales about a Hugo Award that fell apart and a company that wanted her to write in a compilation of "War of the Worlds," and do the short story, "as if it was written by Laura Engles Wilder," whom some guy may have never read, but some of you gals probably did as kids. She did, "Little House on the Prairie." I have no idea why Connie declined, I'd consider that a challenge. I might do it myself!

Anyway, Connie is pleasant, modest, and fun to have in your audience.

I spent some time with ninjacooter and her boyfriend, hung out with Ops for a while, hung out with Adrienne who wanted some modeling advice. As I type this LINE, I am at Volunteer central, stealing there electrical supply for my own selfish laptop battery charging needs.

I am having fun. There's a series of room parties tonight I will be browsing. I hope they don't suck, it's been AGES since I have been to a room party, and I want to see if they still give out stickers (back in the day, we covered the "clipped corner" of badges that showed we were underage). Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions

Balticon - Day 2 (with Day 1 additives) (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Before I start:
Why are you not at Balticon???
Please disregard this if you are at Balticon

What happened with Day 1? I didn't have Internet access until now, and I'd like to graciously thank a Katsu staff person who let me have their access today.

My adventure started Friday morning when a 40 minute Metro ride took almost 2 hours. Luckily, maugorn was late, too. He gave a lift there in his +2 Van of Driving, which should be listed in the DMG as an "artifact." I think many people would be daunted by riding in a tan van that reminds one why the 1980s were not good years to buy American vehicles, but this... this was a musician's van, and I saw it as a work of art, with happy memories of the past.

When the last time any of you had to "roll down a window?"

It was a massive thing where the interior had been stripped bare. I pictured this kind of van at Renn Fests and Pagan gatherings, as places to sleep, stay out of the rain, and just generally be all hippie like. It was a fun ride, and Maug and I spoke of music, Faerie festivals...

Man, Mike Brill is constantly talking and I can't type. I have to move somewhere else, and finish this later. I think I'll take a picture of this guy, because those who have not met him... he's a sight to behold. Posted in: balticon , cons , conventions

How bad was my panel? (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

As Balticon approaches, and after I told that Goth Poetry Jam story, I thought I would tell of some other weird panels I have done or attended.

The first one that comes to mind came somewhere in the mid 1990s, when Cheryl Evry had issues getting people to show up to panels on Friday. So one of them was labeled, "A Squid, a Jar of Mayonnaise, and a Bottle of Wesson Oil: Punkie Explains." I found out about this panel a few hours before I was supposed to host it. I thought of doing, "How to make squid salad," but I am sure that the three or so people that showed up were not gourmands. I forgot what I actually said, but I think we discussed how much we hated Barney the Dinosaur.

Speaking of that, at another FanTek Con, I actually hosted a "Why We hate Barney" panel, which was one of the most packed I have ever hosted. About halfway through the panel, people got so worked up about how they hated Barney, if some poor sot in a Barney suit, perhaps on the way to a kid's party, passed by our door, I am sure a mob would have tracked him down and beat the living shit out of him with blunt objects. I had never felt the awesome power of starting a riot, but I am sure it would have started off like that panel. People got so worked up, so full of anger and hate, that I was losing control, and since I never hosted another one.

I once was asked to host a panel on Heinlein. I had not read any but two books of his, and that was in high school, and I didn't like either of them. I couldn't find the head of programming to have my name removed, so I hoped that the other panelist would speak more than I did. The other panelist didn't show up. So, what to do? I was honest. I said, "I have not read any but two books of Heinlein, and that was in high school, and I didn't like either of them! What's so great about Heinlein anyway?" Well, some people in the audience didn't like that. But what I hoped would happen eventually did, and it turned into a discussion circle where I just sat there and moderated my audience.

Another time, I was finishing my panel, when a panelist for the next panel asked to have a word with me privately. He was freaking out. He had never hosted a panel before, and while he did volunteer to help out, he was hosting this panel alone and was about to pass out with fear. He was pale and shaking like a leaf. He begged me to stay at the table with him. So I did. and that man's name was Frank Herbert. No, I am lying, I don't recall the guy's name, but the panel was ABOUT the then recent death of the creator of the Dune Saga.

I have often offered to give titles to panels when the rooms were not filled. And no programming chair has EVER taken me up on it. Panel titles include:

- The Art of Hotel Chair Arrangement: A post modern exhibit expressing blind obedience in a world that simply sits and waits
- The Mobius Strip Panel: We're all on the other side of the room.
- The Klein Bottle Panel: We're on the other side of the Mobius Strip Panel
- Invisibility Class Lab and Workshop: Must have attended previous Invisibility panel, test out your new invisibility cloaks!
- The Anti-Panel: The panel for people who hate and never attend panels, even ironic ones.
- Time Travel Demonstration: Hosted on Saturday, it promises to zap you to the previous Friday. Don't be late!
- The Order of United Science Fiction Pessimists: The moderator is probably no good, and nobody will show up anyway
- You're In the Wrong Room: The panel is in the OTHER room, stupid.
- Vendor Exhibit: New Trends in Hotel Function Room Carpet Patterns
- You're It! The first one in the room is the moderator!
- Meet the Guest So Famous He Refused to Show Up to His Own Panel, Panel
- Confused People Meet and Greet: Topic, "Is this panel for real?" Posted in: cons , conventions , panels

Thoughts on being on the Z-List (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

I tell people I am a Z-list celebrity at cons. I am kind of comfortable with this status, because it's enough to get recognized by those I care about, but not so much that lots of people fawn all over you for no good reason. To be honest, I don't even know why I am on the Z-List.

My popularity comes and goes. Sometimes it's hard to judge how I will be approached at a con. Most of the time, it's just friends and people I know who know me and know I am a good person, and don't care about anything else esoteric like my Emcee work, my book, or the hundreds of panels I have been on. I think anyone could be an Emcee, write a book, or host lots of panels (hint, volunteer for those things). Once in a while, I get some friend group of people who want to hang out with me, but I don't know why. I try and learn from them, but I just end up talking too much, and they listen to me instead, and I don't learn anything.

Once in a while, though, I get bolts out of the blue. I won't name names, because that's petty, but a few times I have had to create distractions while I sneak away in an attempt to wipe off the schmooze. A few years ago, a convention head at a new con wanted me to come down to his convention, let's say it was in North Carolina. Far away enough for it to be quite a journey to get there, but not far enough to justify getting a plane. Let's call this guy Tom, head of "Esotericon," a con I just made up. Tom has asked me for YEARS to come to his convention. He won't state why, though. Nor will he pay for my travel and hotel. So I politely decline. But every year, he sends me mail, asking if I'd be a guest. For the last three years. Usually starting with, "It's that time again..." His convention, according to a website that looked like it was made in 1996, is a science fiction convention, even though all of the artwork is a slightly jagged version of anime as done by bored kids in their high school notebooks. There is never a program or guest listing. I have asked about this con among my friends, and the general consensus is, "who?" And a few grimaces that say, "I have met the guy, he's a little awkward." I checked the site again, and it's not responding, and a review I saw on LJ said it was "the product of lowered expectations."

Another time, I was asked to be fan Guest of Honor to a local college convention I only remotely heard of because they had a really good room party I once attended. I declined because when I told a friend about it, who has far higher celebrity status than I did, he said, "RUN AWAY!!! No, seriously, they are desperate for guests and the whole thing is a burning building ready to collapse upon itself. They even asked me and [list of people we knew]." So I said I couldn't get out of work, and shortly after that, the con was canceled, which I doubt was related to me declining in any way.

Sometimes I get requests to review things. I was doing reviews of Linux products there for a while, but the guy in charge of that hasn't spoke to me since January (which, according to him, is normal). But I hate it when I get manuscripts from people I don't know. Right now, I have a friend of mine who's doing a book and got some comments he wants evaluated, and that's cool, since I have known him since sixth grade and all. But a few times I get a 1mb+ PDF of some grand book someone has. This had dropped off to nothing until I started doing NaNoWriMo, and now I have to decline a few things a year. I get a little miffed because, first, who am I to judge another's writing, and second, I don't have a lot of free time to read through books that are often subject matters that bore me. For instance, last week I got a horror novel that started off with "eyeball vampires" who steal eyes with syringes from their victims... and then it got weird. After a few pages, I realized that it read like a bad acid trip with about a dozen ideas stolen from other films and TV. It surprised me it wasn't scanned from a spiral notebook of some of the goth poets I used to know in the late 1980s. I respectfully told the person to find a publisher, since I did not consider myself a judge of good work since I stopped reading Steven King, and he's still making money. I reasoned someone out there would find it brilliant. Probably someone who cuts themselves.

At Katsucon this year, I had a few people schmooze me who were far more accomplished in their field than I have ever been in any field. I responded in kind, and it was a weird dance of, "I know this guy, and he's famous!" and "So I am famous, too!" on both sides, which if I was a schmoozing type, I would consider a career move of some sort. I am not talking about people like Steve Bennett, who I have KNOWN forever since the FanTek days, but people who I don't know from squat. "You did the voice work for what? Is that a show where someone dresses in a robot suit? Ha ha... yes, good guess in anime, huh?" There have been people I REALLY wanted to schmooze with, but I have a rule that if I wouldn't approach them out of the blue because they were not famous, just because the are famous doesn't give me the right to do so, either. I am not someone who feels right asking for an autograph. Maybe a picture with them, but only if it's not bothering them in any way, like I am in line with them, or working the staff that corrals guests or something.

Balticon has the heaviest of these incidents. One of the benefits about having green room access is you can speak with anyone there, which is why really famous people don't go there often, heh. I have tried to remain quiet and respectful, but have seen some less seasoned folk get starry-eyed and stick to more famous people. People who are normal in real life sometimes turn into babbling idiots in the presence of their idols. I always like the green room staff, because most of them are so jaded towards fame, they don't give a crap who they ask to move over, they have to clean that table. Years ago, this happened:

Volunteer: Hey, can you grab this end and help me take this trash out?
Author: [points to badge] I have written several novels!
Volunteer: So now you'll have something new to write about.
Some other guest: [laughing] Ah... the dumpsters in May... Springtime for Baltimore!
Author: [sulks] I can't, I have bad ankles.
Volunteer: I am not asking you to stomp on the trash.
Author: I can't walk the stairs.
Volunteer: That's why we have elevators.
Some other guest: [Author's name], fresh air will do you some good.
Author: I hardly think the dumpsters qualify as fresh air.
Some other guest: [in jest] Well, you leaving will do us all some good.

I ended up helping the volunteer, because think the author was going to kill somebody, and the volunteer looked to be about 60 or something in a lot worse physical shape than the author.

So it's fun belong a Z-list celebrity, I guess, just to see that. Posted in: cons , convention , fandom

I have stuff to do, Easter... Saturday... (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Sunday I am still at home. I am thinking of walking to the local food store and binging on Easter candy until I puke. But Saturday, I hang out with ninjacooter in DC, and then I go to tth and aylinn's house to eat boiled meat.

You know, I still think of Easter weekend as Balticon weekend, even though they haven't done this weekend for years.

Oh, and happy Ostara/Spring Equinox to my pagan friends! Blessed be! I told you the dragon wouldn't eat the sun...

Lastly, enjoy a small thing I wrote for grayhawkfh on his LJ. I couldn't log in from work, the browser would accept my login, but wouldn't authenticate me, and I didnt have time to figure out why. This entry here was posted via Logjam on a Linux box. I will vouch for the event: someone did dump hundreds of rubber balls down a stairwell at some Castlecon in the early 1990s (before the Frederick era). The thing that made this noteworthy was the stairwell at that tower was staight: you could be on floor 15 and see the first floor straight ahead. I can imagaine if you fell down those stairs, there would be no turn to stop you from reaching the bottom a bruised sack of broken skin, meat, and shattered bone in a growing pool of blood. Posted in: candy , castlecon , cons , convention , easter , rubber balls , security

Katsucon - Pre-review (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Well, work is in chaos when I got to work today, There was an internal server change, and nothing works anymore, because all our profiles are hopelessly munged and nobody can do much of anything.

It’s a Microsoft thing, I wouldn’t understand.

So while I take some time to write a decent review, upload all my camera pictures, and whatnot, the gist of Katsucon is I had a great time, it was relatively incident free, and as I said all weekend: I AM STILL NOT SICK!

Yes, despite the fact I have been holed up with sick people for the last two weeks, many in small offices with people sneezing and coughing on me, I have managed to (so far) avoid any martian death flu plague. Even with the stress of Katsucon and being with 6200 other fans sneezing and possibly wiping their germy hands on doorknobs and elevator buttons. I think once or twice I felt close to getting sick, but I downed echinacea, kept my feet warm and took hot showers. Whether that had anything to do with my health or it was just voodoo placebo coincidence, I have no idea. But as of today, I have managed to avoid a deep illness of any sort, and yes, I am PROUD of that. Even if I get sick and die by the end of the week, I am happy I got this far.

Go me! :) Posted in: cons , conventions , katsucon

LOSTCAUSE 2010: Really? Seriously? (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

Seriously, you want me to run a con? Don't make me do it. I am just crazy enough to attempt it, you know. I need a poll here:




In the comments section, please post the following:

• Ideas and stuff "I have always wanted to see at a con" within reason
  
• "I really hate it when a relaxacon does..." [fill in the blank]
  
• Sean and I are thinking about inviting Al Gore as a guest under the title "Voice actor of Futurama and sketch actor as seen on Saturday Night Live," and nothing else. How does that make you feel?
  
• Share with me one of the WORST security moments you ever had at a con
  
• Share with me the FUNNIEST thing you have ever seen at a con
  
• Talk me out of this
  

334 Posted in: cons , conventions , lostcause

LostCause: So I posted a question yesterday (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

It's a little heartwarming that so many of you would support me. You all are crazy, and attempting to follow a fool off a cliff. It's adorable. Here's the deal behind the question:

Many years ago, I had a strange premonition that it was my destiny to host at least one convention. I laughed and dismissed it. But every year there is no Evecon, it gets a little louder. And people have been pushing me in this direction. This also happened with my first book, and that turned out to be a great success. This year was really strong, with several people close to me suggesting I should do this. And I have some good ideas how to run this damn thing. But I have said, many times, I would not run a convention. What may make me change?

(4:08:18 PM) PunkWalrus: What a terrible idea, why am I even considering this?
(4:08:30 PM) StodgyCat: several reasons:
(4:08:35 PM) StodgyCat: 1. you miss evecon
(4:08:43 PM) StodgyCat: 2. you are SMOF at heart
(4:08:59 PM) StodgyCat: 3. you are frustrated at the state of Sci-fi cons

All these items are sadly true. But I am missing some key elements. Here's what blocks the road to making this happen.

- Focus. What the hell would this relaxacon be centered on? I think, "Ooh, things I like!" but that's too unfocused since I like many things. I'd have to have a point to determine what I'll have. Am I a sci fi con? I hate cons that "just are" unless they already have a long established base. TCEP is gaming, for instance. Balticon is SciFi. Katsucon is Anime. And so on. What hasn't been done that I want to do?
- Cost. I have no real idea how much this would cost, and how memberships would offset some of the costs. I guess I can figure this out by actually, you know, doing research. I'd make it close to home, like the DC area.
- Hotels. Contracts scare me. I have more horror stories than feel-good tales about hotel management.
- I won't have fun at my own con. I have seen convention runners the day after. They are not having fun. They are having Maalox moments.

Based on this, I think the name might be:

League of Speculative Technology, Creativity, and Usable Science Edutainment

or

Welcome to L.O.S.T.C.A.U.S.E 2010

Again, I have no real plans to do this yet. It's in the "are you going to do it or aren't you? stage. Some philosophies behind the convention:

- This has a high probability of never making it past the planning stage. Please don't get your hopes up. If it does happen, there's an even greater chance it won't happen again. It has an almost 99% chance to disappoint and annoy everyone no matter what happens.
- Based on my experience, it will be a one leader sort of thing; at least at the beginning. This will reduce politics compared to a committee. I will run this, and be totally responsible for the inevitable downfall and footnote that will make Disclave's flood look merely damp.
- I want to severely reduce politics, even if I know well they cannot be eliminated. People should hate me, not one another. I want to keep my staff small and trim, with clear cut duties that are easy to carry out.
- If we grow past a few hundred, I may hand it off to someone more qualified, and try and finagle a position like Zaphod Beeblebrox and be a foppish and irresponsible figurehead alone. I want my own pimp cup, you know.
- It will be run similar to Fantek cons when they have only been a few hundred. If it ever reaches over 1000, it will be like a horde of monkeys taking over a TV station, and I will flee to a country with weak reciprocity laws at the absolute worst time to do so. Posted in: cons , conventions , lostcause

The stupidest question I will ever ask (Punkadyne Labs (Punkwalrus))

If I lost all my marbles, got a brain transplant, and decided, for no reason other that sheer destiny to untilately fail in one spectacular weekend...

... would any of you attend a weekend, relaxacon-style, no more than a few hundred attendees, convention I threw...

...over New Years Weekend 2010?

Please say no, and what an idiot I am to ask it publicly. Derision and threats encouraged. I totally promise it will be awful, we'll get screwed by the hotel, it may put me into bankruptcy, and half the staff will get the flu before, during, and after the con. Then I will lose friends, and everyone will hate me and each other. I won't do it anyway. You can't make me. Posted in: bad idea , cons