bored yet? (Never melts (meef)) by jen

Yesterday's visit to the dermatologist was just a thing I did. I didn't think anything of it, but kind of happy to talk to someone about it. Today's visit to the allergist was almost like angels playing harps or something. Oh, he did NOT tell me anything spectacular. And he seems to think my diet would play a SMALL role in J's skin and more likely it's just a "thing." That worries me since my mindset has always been "these things don't just happen for no reason." But at the same time the lazy part of my brain is all "go eat some macaroni and cheese! go on! go get it!"

I am so used to dealing with D, and while I'm trying not to apply what I learned with D to J, because they are different people, obviously; it's hard to discount it altogether. I have to stop myself a lot from saying "well, with D..." because it has no basis, most of the time!

Anyhow, this allergist said a lot of things that I agree with, things that directly counter the things the derm. said that I thought were kind of "old school." Now you might be thinking I like this guy because he tells me what I want to hear, but that's just a small part of it. I really like the dr and the practice and it's less than 20 minutes away, too. Not that I'm lazy to drive but I'm not used to having competent services without having to travel; they are few and far in between and hard to find.

I asked him if the stuff the derm prescribed was appropriate and he said it was a little stronger than he'd do but it was fine. (J's brain: "cut it with aquaphor, and use less.") Allergist: "maybe you only need use it for a few days, then use this as needed." Okay not really like that. He was very careful not to step on this other dr's toes. I bet drs hate it when you tell them that.

After the dr visit, I stopped at the store to pick up the prescriptions and walked around for 30 minutes while I was waiting for it to be done. What exactly am I waiting for, when both employees of the pharmacy were just kinda sitting there shooting the shit every time I passed? I know it wasn't ready because every time he saw me he'd tell me it wasn't ready. I'm not criticizing, I'm just wondering if there's some gnomes back there making the drug or something?

And while I was walking around I bought a bunch of useless crap. Shop Rite cookies. Those things are totally cheesy and total junk, but they are so good! They are fake oreos with one vanilla side and one chocolate side. (You can get them in one or the other, but for those of us who cant' decide...) I also got a bath brush for J's head, and lots and lots of gum, and some garlic hummus. That's not really the most "wtf?" shopping visit, but it's kind of funny still.

Then I came home and it was "only" 12:30! gah! it should have been MUCH LATER THAN THAT! I had a whole day to kill. However, I am exhausted now, and so were the kids. They were easy to put to bed. D's eyes were rolling back in his head as I was singing to him. Tomorrow, though, I'm thankful I don't have to go anywhere. Whew. 3 days in a row of "going somewhere" has taken its toll on the children, and L is sick. Which explains her previous behavior, I suppose. (it's always something.) So tomorrow we're going to take it easy. Posted in: allergy , doctor , j , kids

This is costing me a fortune in copays alone... (Never melts (meef)) by jen

This morning as I was digging through mt. laundry for some clothes for the kids I figured I wouldn't need to get anything for L since she seemed like she wasn't in a mood to get dressed. HA. I was thinking how I always dress them, or at least always have an outfit downstairs for them in case I have to leave on short notice. Do you see where this is going?

And I was also thinking how annoying it would be to go with three kids since T wouldn't be available on Friday to help me out. See where THAT's going? My karmic curse is following me around today.

So I'm sitting there FINALLY having gotten to sit down (after cleaning the kitchen and some other odds and ends) when the dermatologist called me. At first I thought they were just confirming my Friday appointment, but it seems after talking to the pediatrician they want him to come in soon.. like today! Can ya do today? um.. ok.

uh.. SHIT! Dressed the kids, ran upstairs to shower, dressed the baby. Kids are acting badly. Baby has been screaming every moment he's not in my arms, but refuses to be swaddled to sleep. Finally get everyone dressed with 20 minutes to spare, take baby to sit down and nurse. Baby pukes all over shirt! OKAY NOT FUNNY! This is the only clean shirt I have that's also presentable in public! Son of a... And after all that, he wouldn't even nurse. Grr.

I told T I was going, and surprisingly he said he'd meet me there (!!!!!) It's not far from his work. So I drove down there. It was a nice ride. I wonder if there are driving technique courses on how to deal with high winds? It was just my old commute plus a little jaunt onto a side street. A side street where I'd gotten into a minor accident um.. wow.. 8 years ago. yikes. I almost got T boned this time. (these are the only 2 times I've been on this particular jughandle... otherwise I love jughandles. Now I bet you know where I live!)

The dermatologist was very nice and didn't really tell me anything I didn't know, though he prescribed even more topical remedies. And I have to go back in a week. Since I was early, I sat in the car and made a bunch of phone calls. I lined up an allergist appointment for tomorrow (my phone skillz rock!) and then called the pediatrician to touch base and make sure they could get me a referral that fast. It seems I'm famous around the office, they don't even ask me who I am anymore. And it's not like it's a small slow paced practice either. Whoops.

In order to make these phone calls I had to open my cell phone, which I haven't even SEEN since I used it in the hospital after having J. There were 17 voicemails. 14 of which were hang-ups. 1 from my mom, 1 from the Y, and 1 from the pediatrician. Then I listened to the 2 saved ones to see if I forgot something. One of them was my friend Alison calling me at the hospital to say everyone was on the edge of their seats and would I PLEASE call her back or post. It's cute. Saved it again. The other one hit me right in the chest. It was the voice of someone I haven't spoken to in a long time. The message is really old, and I don't even know why I saved it because it's mundane and doesn't have anything important really. But just hearing this person's voice again really made me miss them. I saved that too.

And I didn't want to mention it in my last post, but I have also been called for jury duty. I do not really want to pretend that I am "interested in how the whole thing works" because I'm really kind of over that. This is the 3rd time I've been called since moving back to this state. (and I got called twice in my former state) I don't know if that's normal or if I'm "lucky." I did try the "hardship" option because it really made me think if I can't get a hardship postponement then I'm really kind of screwed. I don't know anyone who can watch these kids even for one day. And definitely don't know any lactating people. You also can't just drop kids in day cares as far as I know. The place around the corner used to have a drop-in service but only if they had enough openings for the day and you couldn't reserve them. Oh and it was $100/day for each kid over 3. Yeah. They really worded that hardship sentence very vaguely and legal-ese-y... I guess I just have to wait and see and deal with things as they come. Posted in: allergy , j , jury duty , kids , random

magic pixie dust (Never melts (meef)) by jen

So we I took J to the pediatrician today because, while eczema is not an unusual sight for me, whatever this horrible red rash he has IS. It started out small and now looks like I abuse him by snubbing out my cigarettes on his little body. I took up smoking just to do this, you know. But anyway that, and his head. Oh his head.. it's a horrible case of cradle cap from hell. Hydrocortisone will clear it up but once you stop that for ONE DAY it will come back, within hours, it's really uncanny. I don't think it's actually "cradle cap" and have been slipping and typing it "cradle crap" which it is, it's crusty and oozy and it smells but more importantly, people look at him with pity usually reserved for dying rodents in the street. "is that your bab... oh."

The dr shares my reluctance to put that stuff on his head 2x a day all the time, and said to just do it when I know I'm going somewhere important. It's nice to see he totally knows what I was getting at. Mostly I just don't want to answer the questions. I know I love him. But really, it itches him and he spends the night rotating his head around and around like an owl. This drives me INSANE. If I try to hold his head still, his entire body will flop back and forth as if he were mechanical and one thing has to move. (this is partly why his eyes roll back in his head when you scratch it. Far be it from me to deny him this indulgence, but I tend to stop when *I* fall asleep.)

Anyhow the rash that I was almost SURE was fungal is actually "just" an allergic reaction to something. It's not even eczema. If it's not better by Friday with the entire pharmacy of prescriptions I'm picking up tonight, then it's off to a dermatologist.

In the meantime I'm left to figure out what he's allergic to. Could be something touching him (unlikely, since it's pretty restricted in area) or something I'm eating (my gut feeling) or something he's eating (he doesn't eat solid food, so that's out) or a shot (which he hasn't had any of yet, so I'm actually glad, because I bet they'd chalk it up to the shot if that were the case.)

So now I have to get stricter with my milk/dairy elimination and see if that clears it up. In the meantime, people tend to notice this. People are very judgmental. Me being on a strict diet apparently annoys and inconveniences them. I've been asked why I even bother, how it's so not worth it, and how They make formula so I don't have to "do this to myself" 2 of my kids were/are allergic to milk, so logic stands that this one is, too. What do you think formula is made of? magic pixie dust?? gah. Maybe they'd like to pay for some kind of hypoallergenic formula... I hear it's like $50 a can.

I am just so frustrated by this. I have no logical problems with the diet, just that with 3 kids and a husband who can't remember that he has to buy stuff for ME when he goes shopping, and family who thinks if they put "just a little" in there it won't hurt anyone; it's very hard to stay on it. I've been on it half assedly for weeks now.. just avoiding the major sources but not reading labels. Mostly I hope they outgrow this crap and it doesn't mean allergies for me later. There's a whole "part 2" in my head about the "allergy club" bullshit that goes on in the husband's family that I DO NOT LIKE. But really, I just want to nurse a baby and not have to worry about this crap. Posted in: allergy , j , rash

I got bad news and good news (Kilala.nl (Cailin Coilleach)) by Cailin Coilleach

Remember how I wrote moths ago I wrote about getting a burning sensation, getting dizzy, and fainting? How we thought it was tied to an as of yet unknown allergy? Or related to some weird reaction my body has to stress?

Well, the bad news is that yesterday I had such an attack in the middle of the day. Here I was at the BHV course, minding my own business and paying attention to the teacher. Then all of a sudden the back of my head starts burning, followed by my cheeks, my hands and my arms. Since I now know this feeling quite well, I warned the teach that I might be fainting later but that I was alright for now. In about twenty minutes my muscles started cramping and I started getting dizzy. I knew that fainting was getting close now, so I asked Erwin to call 112 for me. He did and after asking some questions they ascertained what was happening to me.

And that's the good news: I now know what to call the phenomenon. It's hyperventilation.

It's not the kind that happens rather quickly during a panic attack, but one that builds up with time. Right before fainting someone fetched me a plastic bag and I was instructed to breathe heavily into that bag for at least ten minutes. That seemed to help rather well, returning me to a lucid state within two minutes.

So... Now we have to find out what it is that's causing me to hyperventilate. Back in 2005 the incidents started occurring in stressful times and in the more recent event was caused by a panic attack during an illness. So what brought it on yesterday? I have no clue... I have been feeling a bit anxious about my oncoming trip to Japan, but it would be weird to express itself during a course on something completely unrelated

Any which way, this is my course of action:
* Go to physician to have another chat on the subject.
* Possibly get a referral toa specialist.
* Inform the BHV at the office that I occasionally hyperventilate, so they know how to handle me.

Posted in: allergy , burning sensation , hyperventilating , hyperventilation