yesterday, i received this email:

reply-to: xxxxxx@gmail.com
date: Mon, Aug 25, 2008 at 1:26 AM
subject: Lonely man where you??????

Hello _____!
My name is Yulia.

My dear stranger! I today dreamt that gets acquainted with the person through the Internet!!! I cannot tell that I the superstitious person but all so I have gone to the Internet of cafe and have decided to write on the first email which I shall see! I understand that it is a silly act! But probably you will answer me! In the letter I put to you the photo! I hope that it will be it is pleasant to youI was born in Russia, in 1978, in the city Saratov on September 21.

I think that you the man and I very much would like gets acquainted with the man! I hope that my letter has intrigued you I think that I make absolutely silly act but all so I have decided to write! I shall be very glad if you will answer me! And I shall write the big letter and I shall tell to you more in detail about myself!

I don't know if you answer me or not. But why not to try? I will regret if not to try. I think we should use every chance to find our happiness. Life is too short to use it only for thinking and dreaming. I try to act but not only to dream.

So here I am

I will not write you much about myself now. I will just give you an idea of who I am.

I work to earn for my living. I have a higher education and I am rather intelligent.

The only one I miss is a beloved person and I want to have a family. I have really many interests: music, reading, books, computers, movies, good conversations, sports and many other things which make the life wonderful. I

Well, now it is up to you to decide to write me or not. Please write to me directly at yyyyyy@gmail.com

I still hope for your reply. Have a good day!!!!!!!
Yulia !

i've noted previously how i discover new relatives every few months. this is to be expected, as i have a significant number of aunts and uncles, who have spawned a ridiculous number of first cousins and second cousins. since visiting the philippines, i've met for the first time

so nothing out of the ordinary. but on these trips, never before had i met...MY OWN DAUGHTER?!?!

luckily, she looks nothing like me

now some of you may be wondering where babies come from. well here is the answer to that question, but seriously, this isn't the time or the place. the relevant question is:

how is anastasia my daughter?

many flips temporarily leave their families while they go abroad on contract jobs in other countries. this is done to provide monetary support for their families back in the motherland. noel is one of those flips.

as it turns out, i have a kuya noel. as we've seen, while flips are very creative with their nomenclature, after the first 100 kids, you just start running out of names. anyway, he has a couple daughters: laika and anastasia. when we visited, anastasia didn't like calling me 'kuya noel'. she knew her dad's name was noel, and the title didn't fit in her mind. so she decided to call me 'papa noel' instead. since her parents weren't with her, she effectively her adopted me as her father.

now i can tell that you are asking yourself:

through what miracle of God has an undeserving child been conferred the honor of holding this singular vision of beauty, this beacon of light, this quintessence of aesthetic perfection, in a 7x11 glass frame?

every holiday season, my mother will choose new and exciting ways of torturing her children and nephews/nieces. this time around, my mom decided to take some of my college graduation pictures and distribute them to my little cousins. actually, she asked me to sign them first. so now, in the philippines, there is a generation of children running around with my picture, idolizing it.

seriously mom, i can barely take care of all my fans here in the united states.

for some reason, i get along well with kids. it could be due to any number of reasons. maybe it's because i think like a kid. or i buy them ice cream. or maybe it's because i'm like a foot taller than most filipinos. this enables the kids to swing from my arms and jump on my shoulders. i'm basically a walking jungle gym. or maybe because of my exaggerated height, i'm like barney the dinosaur without the purple skin color. but maybe if i start drinking...

3 days ago, i hear word from the motherland. my mom sends me an e-mail:

Your Tita Marilou just called. She called Tita Lilia last night …. Little Anastacia is sad …. Kissing your picture. She asked, “where is my Papa Noel”, “why did he leave me?” “Where does he live?”

a father for only 10 days and now i'm already a deadbeat dad! i do feel bad for her though. i mean, if i left me, i don't know what i would do.